Pictures from my Choir Trip

This is The Gang. From right to left:
Dolly, Lady, Pepper (me), and Kitty. No these are not our real names. We have our own cute little club with cute names. It's funny how we got them. I'll have to tell you about it sometime.



This is in Spokan. Dolly's with me and that's another choir member Kelly. She's an awesome singer. She's nice too which is always a plus.

Some more choir people. The two boys on the end are Seth and Joey. Joey's the one I tried to hav a CTR (Choir Trip Romance) with but he's a slow mover.

Angel's the crazy looking one, Stephanie is next to Dolly, and Petite is another member of our gang.

So I know this looks like a gross picture. But it's a cool story that goes with it. You see while I was in Spokan we sang at a seminary early in the morning. On our way there we saw a "dead" porcupine and this was about six. Hours later we come back and he's still there. There was a crowd of people (like five) around him. My friends wanted to see and I said, "It's dead there's nothing to see." But they went over there anyway. And guess what, IT WASN'T DEAD!! So we stayed there in the middle of the road trying to keep any other cars from hitting it. Now, you would ask, "Who would hit a porcupine? I mean it's huge! Who could miss that?" Well you're right, they wouldn't miss it. There were two other pools of blood showing that it was indead hit more then once. This guy was pretty beat up. We called the police, fire department, vets were all closed, and animal control. Which, btw, is about two hours away! We were there for hours. We thought if it wasn't dead yet it would be. People would offer to have them kill it. Finally we thought maybe we should. But someone, who lives around there, said, "It's against the law." That put us in a tangent about cruelty to animals. We can't kill them because it's against humanity but don't offer any help to them either so they can die a slow and painful death. Yeah, real smart. Basically the only way this guy was going to get any help was if someone put him in their car and drove him to a vet. Only two of us were willing to do that, me and Kitty, but we didn't have a car.

So we waited some more. Finally someone came that knew a vet and the vet said they would get him. We also had someone go and get a couple of shovels. We put a towel over him so he wouldn't shoot quills at us (Yes they shoot quills) and moved him to the side of the road.

Later we found out that he wasn't dieing. He just had a really bad cut on his tail and was playing possum. HE LIVED!!! We were all very excited. When we went to the temple later that day, just after we left him for dead on the side of the road, we (that is Kitty and me) prayed for him. :) Yeah we are bleeding hearts and lame. But it was fun.

Once a missionary....

I've spent the last two hours talking to a couple of people I taught on my mission online. Some great people. One if a former member who was excommunicated and re-baptized. The other a convert hittig her first full year as a member.

It's interesting to see the friendships that were developed. I find myself still teaching them spiritual things even after five months of not teaching.

It's moments like that when I feel as if that mantel wasn't fully taken from me. Cause I find myself getting back into the swing of things like it's no problem.

I miss being a missionary. A lot. I miss teaching people and realizing that I'm wittnessing a miracle right in front me. Then I get online with someone I knew on my mission, someone I taught and I realize I can still have those moments. I can still see the miracle.

It's a sweet thing. To teach the gospel. I feel blessed that I got to do it so often. I hope I never lose sight of those feelings. I hope I get more chances to let them happen.

Blog Lifted

What kind of sports car are you?

I took this idea from another blogger. I don't know if she would want me to post her name so I'll just leave it at that. I thought it would be fun and at the end of it all they made it look pretty easy to post the results on here. I'm going to give it a try and see if it's stupid proof.

I'm a Chevrolet Corvette!

You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

Hey! It worked

Happy Easter and End of Tax Season

Easter morning was a special morning. My choir sang early (7:30 am) right outside the temple. The fountain was behind us, the rain was over us. Yes it did rain, but only for a few minutes and then with a prayer and faith we were able to continue our production. We sang music that was beautifully created to express what it was like to have the Savior here on this earth.

When "Pilot" started singing, letting the people know that he found no fault with the man Jesus Christ it accured to me for the first time that Jesus Christ really was a man with no fault. He did nothing to warrent so much hatered. I think it helps that I've been listening to the "Kingdom and the Crown" books. All about Jesus Christ. I was surprised to see how well done they were. But Gerald Lund has always been a very good auther.

That moment of realization was a special one for me. :) I love those moments. I remember being in the MTC and reading 3 Nephi 11 with the rest of my district. When we got to verse 10-11 that was another one of those moments when the Savior became more real to me at that moment, He became something more then just someone I grew up hearing about. Those are amazing moments.

The rest of the day was spent at the office. Teaching my grandparents how to efile (which is what I'm doing right now. It takes sometime to process so I had some time to write), and doing homework. I vowed I would never do homework on Sundays. It was a hard thing to realize that if I didn't, I would not be ready for my test on Tuesday. It was one of those ox in the mire type things. But I always as myself, "Was it really? Could I have prevented that?" I'll never know now. I'll just have to try harder to get my work done on time.

And so today is the end of tax season. It was a VERY busy day today.

Crap!

Have you ever put the dishes way forgetting you never started the dishwasher? By the time you remembered all the dishes were put away and you look in the cuboard to realize you can't tell which ones are clean and which are dirty?

Yeah, I just had one of those moment but with a bunch of files I wasn't finished with.

Dang it.

The Big Blue Yonder

The blue is soothing no?

Got Code?

Have you ever read Foxtrot? That comic strip with the genius kid with the equally genius best friend? His family is the "normal" American family and he's thrown in there to suck the nerdy kids into the comic. Every once in a while the dialouge looks something like this:

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Some poeple read it and see the witty punch line at the end of the comic.

I read and say:

"What the crap are they talking about?"

My friend recently changed up her blog. It was way cute with sunflowers and mustard yellow background. I got all excited thinking blogger.com got all creative and put up new templates for the blogs. To my disappointment I did see some new templates but they were not anything like the cute sunflower one I saw. I didn't even see the sunflower one.

My friend, after making fun of me for changing my blog to Barbie pink, gave me the website for where she found her cute blog page. I'm thinking it would be easy to just go and get the page I want right?

WRONGO!

Next thing I see they are all talking about codes.

What?!?!

I know nothing about codes. It all looks like the math homework I should be doing right now. Not only that but my friend also puts up these cool quiz results from different quizes she takes and I when I take them I find out the results but when it gets time to grab the code I look at it all and think to myself:

"If I'm going to do math I'm going to do it for a grade." And I hit my math book. Hard. (I hate that book).

In other news take seasons almost over. WAHOOO! And I survived my crazy speech, two papers, and a test day last week. Now I've got a math test coming up on Tuesday. Yipeee!

R U LDS?

Someone asked me recently on my blogger if I was LDS.

There's only one person that I really know who reads this blog. Anyone else are just people who have passed by to take a peek. But I don't know any of them. Honestly I would not know anyone else was reading this if they had not left a comment on one of my entries.

I have no problem with other people reading this though I don't know why they would. My life is rather boring unless you are involved in it.

Any way, since there really is only one person that reads this blog I don't have to explain what LDS means, but after realizing there are a few people that do come along I'll explain a little about who I am religiously.

I'm sure it's been noticed that I mention a lot about, "On my mission," or ,"Before my mission," or "Since I've been home from my mission." I mention people by Sister a lot too. I recently spent 18 months in California serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Or LDS. I've been home for five months now almost six, and even though it was almost half a year since I've been a missionary, it still is a major part of my life. I still have memories and friendships from that experience in my lfe. The one person that reads this on a regular basis that I've mentioned is one such friend who I met while in California. It was she who introduced me to blogger.com and I decided to create this as a way to keep in touch with her.

I have no problem with letting people know my religious affilication. I've been doing that my whole life and refined that art during my stay in California. Any mention of my religion is not to brag or force my views on others. It's a part of who I am. I am a Christian. I believe in Christ and the Atonement and the Ressurection. I believe in a God who love me as a Father and therefore I call him Heavenly Father and I am his daughter. I believe we are all his children no matter what our religious affiliations are. You may be Buddist or Catholic, Muslim or Jew. That is what I believe.

I talk about my religion a lot because it is my life. You talk about the thing you do the most. I've noticed that with people in general. If you have kids you talk about your kids a lot. If you are married you talk about your spouse. If you are single you talk about dating. If you are in a religion that you are involved with not just on Sundays, which I am, then that's what you talk about. That is what I talk about.

So thank you, whoever you were, for noticing that I am LDS. Your question made me realize that since my blog is publicly viewed that maybe I should explain some things. I love answering questions about my religion but that's not the main purpose of my blog. I have a friend who I care about that reads this and I keep her posted on my life. But as long as you respect me and the things I say I have no problem with others reading or commenting on my blog. Feel free. I see no harm.

Bride and Prejudice

For the last few months I've been trying to build relationships with people in my ward. I want to have friends. It's only natural. There is a group of girls that are very appealing to me. They're funny, intelligent, gainfully employed which means they are capable and reliable. They all have callings in our ward and they all do very well at them. Some of them are older, close to 30. Some are close to my age. One of the girls sees everyone as her friend. I can see her quickly becoming a very good friend. Every time there is a social activity she calls me and invites me to go. I've had to say no to every activity but two. The first one was months ago when I first came to this ward. The second was last night.

I had a wonderful time. We had dinner and watched a movie/musical called, "Bride and Prejudice." It's pretty much like the original except there's a) singing and dancing, b)Darsy is an American, c) Elizebeth is Lilita from India. The setting primarily takes place in India. Yep, totally twisted. And it's more modern. I'm not sure I liked the modern flare. What I found funny and pointed out last night was there were at least five or six swear words and no kissing. Not a single kiss throughtout the whole movie. The character playing Miss. Bingly (who, btw, is Indian herself, born but not raised) said to Darsy, "They are like naked wire. Get too close and you'll get a shock of love." Speaking of the native Indian girls. I personally found that rather random.

And so the night continued in much of that fashion. We enjoyed dancing while we sat on the couch trying to mimic the dancers on the movie (they shake their shoulders in a cool fashion) and making fun of it on the way. There was a point when Darsy and Lilita were having a roomantic walk along the beach (in California) and there was a gospel choir singing. They were standing on risers no less. It was a great movie.

So that was how I got to spend my evening. During that time we started making plans to have a trip to California. Am I excited or what? We are planning on bringing lots of people, so, as to not impose on certain charitable and wonderful people who would be more then willing to let us stay with them, we will be getting a condo of the week. But have no fear, I will be coming to visit. We are looking at the beginning of August.

Like I said, I had a great time. It was nice hanging out with a group of girls just chatting about life. There was no need to bring up my less than favorable dating experiences or past issues of misdeeds done to one another becaues they don't know I'm having dating issues (these aren't the type of girls you talk about dating issues with anyway) and we don't have any past misdeeds to try and skirt around. It was just plan normal fun.

Haven't had that in a while. It was great!

iPod Nano Update

So you'd think they would put in the manual how to turn on the stupid thing. I had to go on the support website to discover that, "Oh by the way, to turn on the stupid thing you have to hold the select and menu botton and the same time for 6-10 seconds."

Who would have thought?

But at least now I can listen to my music. And I have the color screen I was hoping for but thought I got cheated out of.

Yay for me!

iPod Nano

iPods started to become pretty popular around here just before my mission. A form relief society president of mine had one and when she told me what it was I responded something like this:

Me: 0_O *blinkblink*

Yeah it meant nothing to me.

So I didn't think much of it until I came back from my mission. All of a sudden I'm getting online and I see these little ad's popping up all over the place. A black shadow of a person jamming to some tunes from a a little white box and little white headphones, with eye catching color changing background to boot. I recognize the little white box as an iPod but that's it. I had no idea that this little ad used to be one of the biggest commercials during my stint from the real world. I discover this as I'm taking a communications class during the time we are discussing the medias influence on world communication.

And the iPods which only belonged to one person I knew is now adorning the ears of basically my whole campus at college. They are everywhere!

A couple days ago one of my friends has one and she lets me borrow it. It's the newer smaller not quite as expensive ones. Without the neat little screen. I think to myself, this is pretty cool.

So I'm telling my mom I'm looking to buy one and the next thing I know we both have one. I've spent some of my day today downloading songs from my cds to the cute little nano.

And wouldn't you know....

...it's not working.

My Mission Reunion

Updates have been scarce because of homework. I've been having the most horrible time trying to catch up on all of the work I've been neglecting. I always seem to find something else to do that seems, "More important," because it will, "Help me get my homework done." Of course while I am doing the, "More important," things my homework sits on my floor or in my computer (online homework) and the due date draws ever closer. And I think, "That's ok, I'll have lots of time."

World meet the queen of procrastination. UGH!!!

My mission reunion was last Friday. I was NERVOUS like you couldn't believe. I left Thursday afternoon but first woke up at 6:30am for a 7:00am hair appointment. I got my hair colored and cut in the latest fashion. Long with layers. I just wanted something that would look cute straight or curly. Then I went to Razzle Dazzle the cosmitology school that's five minutes from where I live and had my nails done. I wanted a french manicure that would make me look smart and flirty. She did a horrible job (she is a student but still it was a horrible job). I decided to be like a magician and move my hands enough where people will see my nails but not long enough to notice how horrible they looked. Slight of hand learned from my older brother in his magincian years, I was his assistant.

I have lunch with a guy that I've been casually dating. I date other people too but he's been the most persistant. Things have developed with him in an unusual way and it makes me very nervous when he starts asking me questions like, "So are you going to miss me?" I of course just make jokes and pretend he's not being as serious as he looks. I'm not ready for a relationship and most especially not ready for a relationship with someone that has all his issues. On my way home last night he kept texting me asking where I was. I knew he would be wanting to see me as soon as possible. He kept calling me while I was gone too. Sigh.

Then I head for Utah. I'm staying with my best friend from high school. We had a falling out shortly after high school and spent the last five years slowly mending that relationship. We realized we love each other too much to throw away something that saved us in high school. We had a blast. We watched the first session of Gilmore Girls that she had on DVD. Her husband was going out of town for a school camping trip he would be getting graded on. Spent Friday morning with him, traveling around finding the best deal on camping gear and getting to know each other while Lyssa went to a sealing for one of her friends. He asked all kinds of questions about what Lyssa and I were like in high school and I think he wanted to know what exactly happened to us after high school. I wouldn't tell him just that we had a falling out. But he is a very innocent kind of guy and personalable. Very nice. I like him.

Their son Cameron is adorable and I spent a lot of time with him this weekend too.

Then the mission reunion came. It was pretty much what I expected it to be. Lots of people I knew, but most of them ignored me. Those that didn't know me came and talked to me. I found out who where my true friends from all of this. Elder Petty came up and gave me the biggest hug. Elder Vernon, Brooksby, the office sisters, and even Hatch gave me a hug. Sister Schmidt was there too. It was good all around. Sister Bradford was there. That was my saving grace and I for her. She came with another elder RM and everyone thought they were boyfriend/girlfriend. But thruth was, they knew each other pretty well before the mission. There were very few people who actually knew Susan from the mission for obvious reasons. So we hung out. She looks great. She's lost tons of weight and is pretty much her wonderful self. I went over to her place after the reunion and we chatted. I caught her up to dateing on my dating life and she reminded me to not settle. It was a good weekend in the way of figuring out that what I have so far is not what I want.

We had a devotional at the reunion. It was exactly what I needed. I'm still trying to recover from some of the bad things that happened on my mission. Trying to figure out how to not feel so crappy about how I was treated by some of the missionaries and to basically let things go. I didn't write down any notes and I wish I had because it would have helped me remember. I don't know what exactly was said, but it was exactly what I needed. I started to realize that what I get out of my mission is what I choose to get out of it. And that I can think about my mission and the missionaries in it without this turning queeziness.

The love that I felt from President and Sister C helped a lot. I didn't think it would matter one way or another if I showed up. But President gave me the biggest hug and looked straight into my eyes and he knew. He looked right through me and he knew how hard it was for me. He didn't know exactly why but he knew that I was struggling. That meant a lot to me, just knowing that he cared. I love that man. I love Sister C. They will always mean so much to me.

The rest of the weekend was wonderful of course. With conference and hanging out with Susan on Saturday. Sunday I left and now I'm back to normal life. It was a good weekend. Thought provoking and enlightening. I have some choices to make. But it will all work out.

Ebay Abuse!?!

Someone tried to steal my graphing calculator I bought and paid for on ebay! I couldn't believe it!
I got a letter this morning stating:

Your payment cleared! I will ship the unit this morning and it should arrive at:
Emily Merrick
339 W. LEMON AVE. XXXXX CA XXXXX
in 2-3 days (estimate provided by USPS). Sorry for the wait.

What?!? I'm not in California. I've never even lived in the city that it stated before I X'ed it out (I feel it inappropriate to give that sort of information. It wouldn't make me any better then that little thief). But I didn't think it would actually be someone who was trying to steal my purchase, I just figured there much have been some simple mistake. How I didn't know, but I couldn't possibly think it was an ebay thief. Until I got a letter back stating:

Ok the address change has been made. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I received an e-mail for someone claiming to be you that requested it be sent to XXXXX. Being new at this whole eBay thing I must have been tricked by a "spoof" message. Your package will still arrive in 2-3 days.

How sad! Why would anyone want to do that. I sent an email back asking him to report that person because it really is not something that someone should get away with. That's just way to easy. Even this guy had not told me my payment had cleared and where exactly the purchase was going I would never had known. It would have been sent off somewhere else and then I would be in the middle of a legal dispute. Outrageous!

So now I'm going to be a little more careful. I'm even going to go as far as write this guy again and ask him what specific information was given to make him think it was me. Cause if there is someone out there poseing as me, well, I'm just going to nip this thing in the bud right now!

Itchy! Itchy! Itchy!!!!

Ok, so I understand that to get the look you want it comes with a price. But honestly does it have to itch this much!?!? I'm seriously going crazy here. I've put every type of lotion on that you can think of. I'm not burnt, my skin is brown. Or as brown as it has ever been in a long long while. Some might argue that I'm still pretty pasty but the cute little heart shape sticker line on my stomach tells me other wise! I put on some aloe just recently and I think it's a little better, but I haven't itched this much since I had the chicken poxs.
The guy I dated before my mission and I have been writing back and forth via work email. I finally told him what some people are saying about him back here. That he's madly in love with me and will be coming back to sweep me off my feet. He wrote back to inform me that though he still has feelings for me he doesn't see himself making the kind of sacrifices needed to be my husband.
Frankly I was fine with that. I'm not upset and I agreed that I felt the same way. He actually has said that he wasn't sure if he should continue sticking around or if he should walk out of my life completely. I told him that was silly that I still wanted his friendship.
Katie - the one that insists that Robert and I are meant to be together still insists that he's denying his feelings. She's always been a little persistant. I think she's wrong though, I don't see it happening.
So that's what's up with me. Itchy skin and the boys are moving in and out of my life. Even James. I have a feeling it's not going to work out, mainly because God pretty much told me I haven't met "the one" yet. That requires a lot more patients then I think I know how to give. But that's the point right, to learn?

Things are starting to settle down...

So here's the adorable couple. Darin gave me this picture yesterday at the choir concert we had last night in Kuna (I know you have no idea where that's at, you'd be shocked that we even call this place a town). The picture actually makes him look thinner then he really is, probably because he's sitting down and he had me to dress him up. :) Or maybe it has something to do with that gorgeous girl sitting next to him.

As he gave me the picture it was in an envelope and I said, "Oh good I thought is was going to be a letter and those are never good." And of course he promptly reached into his jacket and gave me ANOTHER envelope this one SEALED and much thicker then the previous one. Which I responded to with,

"Dang it!" If nothing else I enjoyed the irony, there's no reason why I shouldn't get some kicks out of this whole affair.

And of course he had requests. REQUESTS! How dare you write me a letter and ask for requests. I will not hear of it!

But I heard them anyway.

1) Don't read it now. (Ok, I'll read it 15 minutes from now. >) haha take that requests!)
2) Don't let anyone else read it. (Fine I'll read it to them! Ha! You can't hold me down! Can't, I tell you! CAN'T!!!)

So I read the letter and I was fumming by the end. How dare he accuse me of purposely hurting him and toying with him. I had no such intention. I had nothing to do with those sticken flowers and as far as I was concerned with his accusations towards Aaron and how cruel he was they were nothing but hearsay! And if he did feel like Aaron talked down to people well they are people that have inferiority complexes!

Yeah, I was mad.

So as we were heading into the chapel to sing I walked quickly past Darin and said, "We need to talk after this is over."

I should have picked maybe a better time and place, hopefully make it not so obvious that there is drama going on in my life. But to tell you the truth I'm getting much better about keeping my life my own. People keep coming up to me and asking me who sent me the flowers in choir and I am so grateful that Aaron signed the card, "That One Guy." That way I'm not lying when I talk about the whole thing. I keep it a secret. My life is not to be displayed and I will not have it! I'm so sick of it.

And that's what I told Darin later that night. Every point he gave me I didn't throw it back in his face, but I explained to him what my point of view was. I then thanked him for telling me because if I don't know what the problem is I can't fix it. He said one of his friends suggested he write the letter otherwise he would have pretty much avoided me. If you want me to go into more detail let me know, but for now I'm heading to work.

Oh and James just left today for Utah. We saw each other this weekend and it went very well. Like old friends getting together. After the week I had last week I'm grateful that I can enjoy being with someone and not feel obligated to be a certain way. That I can hang out with him and not feel guilty about not wanting to be more then just friends. Who knows what will happen but honestly I'm not in too much of a hurry. One day, but for now I just need to get to know people. We had sushi and he helped encourage me to do something with Dallas.

So for the most part things are good. And I'm happy. :)

More like this to follow?...

He reminds me of my dad...

My dad is a great guy. I mean, come on, he's my dad. He's been by my side all the years. He protects me, cares for me. Loves me.

But I am not attracted to my dad.

He looks like my dad, he talks like my dad, he even wears the same glasses. I'm not sure what to think about it.

He picked me up and took me to dinner. I picked Mongolian BBQ. It's a good place for a first date. You find out interesting things about someone by what they put in their bowl. He had some intersting combinations. But he didn't fill it all the way up while I piled mine on. He eats the way he drives. Five miles under the speed limit. Then we went to the theater and watched Hoodwinked. Which was cute and funny. I enjoyed it. And so did he.

We had good wholesome conversation. Nothing weird, nothing out of the ordinary. We learned a few new things about each other. I need some friends in Boise so I can start having some parties. I need to start doing this the way we do taxes at my work.

The client calls for an appointment and we tell them to bring their stuff in a week in advance. We take their stuff, learn a little about them, enter in all of their data into the computer, and by the time they come in we have a good idea of where this all needs to go. We know what they are like. When they sit down with the preparer they can start talking finacial strategy.

See if we did something of the same thing with my dates then the whole first date thing might not be so weird. Do something casual, get them around lots of people go from one person to the next kind of getting a feel for them. Do this enough times and you can get a pretty good handle on who the guy is. Now, keep in mind you are giving EVERY guy in the room a chance, not just the ones you have the hots for.

So, I can data enter all of their info into my little brain I wouldn't have to worry about this getting to know you stuff and focus more on strategy.

I'm mostly kidding ;)

I am going to go on another date with him. He asked me what the possibility was for us doing this again. I said it was good, but I didn't give him any ideas of when. Hopefully he'll take the lead this time. I don't mind guiding someone, but I do like some kind of effort on their part.

I just don't know what to do about him looking and acting so much like my date. It's just weird. And to be honest I think it's going to be a while before I'm going to go on a date and not think about James. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I want to think about him. It just kind of pops into my head. But, Darin is nice. He's a gentleman. And I happy with getting to know him.

My mom talks to dogs, my first day of school, and the hot chocolate date!

I just want to give you a picture of what I look like when I'm on the computer. I would actually take a picture but I'm being really lazy tonight and truthfully you are lucky I'm even posting right now. I'm drugged up on NyQuil and will be hitting the hay very soon.

We have a very nice large computer chair. You've seen the type. Unsuspecting soon-to-be-hero walks into the big dark lair of evil nemesis. All is quiet...too quiet. Getting into the room was easy...too easy. The afore mentioned chair faces the beautiful clear blue sky viewed through bullet proof glass...wait a minute, we're ten stories up! Just when you think no one is around the chairs swivles around revealing-[insert evil foe here].
I always imagine Richard Simmons. *shudders* I can still here his evil voice, promising all of those people on the show weight lose when secretly behind the scenes he's forcing them to each chocolate doughnuts for evil purposes of his own. I mean seriously, those people never lost weight.

But I digres.

So that's the type of chair I'm sitting it. My legs are resting on top of the desk the keyboard against my knees. I look very kick backed and relaxed. My dad came down one time as I was sitting like this typing away at the computer and he said I was the only one he's ever seen do that. He said it in that, "I've missed seeing you do that. It's nice to have you back," sort of way that he does every once in a while like he's being reminded that I haven't been home for a while.

So I told my mom about Juju and how I talked to her that night she feel on the stairs. She also got a hold of the IM I had printed off from when we talked. It's the only time I ever printed off an IM of our conversations. I wanted it for when I acutally went up to Juju so I didn't forget anything. I just forgot to take it away so no one could read it. So my mom read it and she figured out that you were the friend I keep talking about that talks to animal.
The next day I came home from dinner and my mom says to me:
"So I was folding clothes on the bed watching some TV and Juju makes a little nest in the middle of the clean clothes. I cleared my mind and just thought to her, "I know you are tired and want to rest but could you please move some place else so I don't have to move you and disturb you later?"
My mom said split seconds later Juju got up and moved and very calming slept on a different part of the bed.
So my mom doesn't think we are crazy, but we told my dad and he thinks we are.

I've been sick for a while and I'm just getting worse. Last night was the worst night of my life. I got two hours of sleep and at 6:15 am I was out the door and heading for Boise wishing that today was not the first day of school. But I made it through ok and I'm going to be a very busy girl of the next few months. I have a lot of work a head of me. I'm excited. I like keeping busy and I'm going to be very very busy.

Last week I had a great time talking with this guy at an Institute activity. I've known him for a long time but we've never been very close. But last week we flirted our way into having a date this morning for hot chocolate just before choir. It was lots of fun. He's a a cute kid. He's a year older than me to the day as we share a birthday. We played on each others words and I made sure that he knew that though he may think he's incharge I have a few tricks up my sleeve. He has this thing with making me feel like he's got me right where he wants me. I blocked his verbal (innocent) traps so nicely even I was surprise. We read comics together and he has this thing about tickeling my knees. This kid is a huge flirt. He's nice and fun but not something I would look seriously into for a long while. So although I'm working on two hours of sleep I would say I had a pretty successful day!

Juju means luck

So when I came home from my mission we had two new additions to the family. Tweeker and Juju. Tweeker is another pomeranian that is my sister's dog but he loves my dad. Juju is a dachound and is my sisters boyfriends dog and is the cutest most adorable dog you have ever seen and I feel in love with her. She is in love with my mom but I come in at a close second. I try to spend as much time with her as I can. But even so, if my mom is anywhere in the house she would rather be with my mom.

So tonight when my mom is in our closed living room getting a massage by one of my friends (my friend is a pro and very good) I took it upon myself to have some bonding time with Juju. Juju is squirming to get free but usually after a while she will calm down and leave thought of my mom alone until she appears again. Well, the phone rang and I started walking around with a cordless phone while walking down our wooden stairs Juju desides to squirm again and I lost my grip on her.

Needless to say she had a bad fall and then procceded to slide down the stairs. She started crying and wouldn't stop. She sounded as if someone was trying to kill her. Physically she looks like she's fine. I felt horrible and now she won't come any where near me. I worked with her hoping she could know that I ment her no harm but as I was putting her down I scared her or something maybe hit a nerve that made her remember her hurt leg and she started crying again. So now she really won't go any where near me. I tried talking to her, but I don't know how to listen and I can only see her being afraid of me.
I feel like crap now.

My Date

You pretty much got the short and tall of it this morning but I'll start at the beginning and see how much I can remember.

I went over to his place about 7:00pm. We had planned earlier this morning to make dinner at his place and either go out to see a movie or stay in a watch what we have. But when I arrived I found out that Dallas was sick and he didn't want to disturb him from his sicky sleepiness so we decided to go out to eat and see if there were any shows playing that we would want to watch.

We went to the Macaroni Grill, a really good Italian restraunt. We enjoyed catching up with each other and all of the weirdness from before was gone. I can only figure that he was sick and tired so he wasn't up for talking much when I had talked to him before. So anyway we left the restraunt and drove around for a little bit trying to figure out what we were going to do. We tried the movies but nothing was playing that we both wanted to watch and we didn't want to go back home so we pulled into a parking lot and started talking. We actually stayed that way for a while. Just talking and enjoying each others company. I'll leave out all of the kissing stuff but there was lots of that, but I will share with you the things we talked about in between.

He kept asking me how I was doing. Always wanting to make sure I was happy. This was before we even started kissing. I'm not sure what prompts him to do so but when I talk about my life he says, "If there is anything that you need, anything that I can do for you please know that I am here for you." Is he just feeding me a line? I don't think so, and if he is, well, actions speak louder then words and I will soon find out. But I saw him as a missionary and I've seen him with his other friends. He treats people in general this way. Wanting them to know that he is there for them.

I mentioned to him that I've never had someone say those type of things to me. Now, thinking about it, I have had people say that but never a boy whom I've become close to. I asked him if he had always been like that. "Yes," he said, "but my mission taught me how to say those words."

We talked about some other random things eventually I asked him, "When you first kissed me, was it something spear of the moment or had you been thinking about it for a while?" He said he had been thinking about it for a while, but since a while could mean, hours or days, I asked, "How long is a while?"
Him: "A few days."
Me: Why did you kiss me?
Him: (long silent pause - honestly if this guy is feeding me lines then he is a very good actor) It's how I show affection. The time I've spent with you has ment a lot to me and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you.
Lets see what else did I ask him? I asked him what would be the most important thing he would want me to know about him.
Him: (long pause again) You know me as Elder Holstien and you know me as James Holstien. You pretty much know everything I would want you to know.
Me: Sure, but that doesn't mean there might be something I don't know.

What I was really trying to find out was what part of himself and his character means the most to him. What does he nurish and feed but also guard and protect.
The short answer to that question is friendship. His desire to have friends and be friends. We are two peas in a pod in that respect. He asked me the same question in return and I told him basically that the better my friends treat me the better I will treat them and in return the more loyal I will be. It's a pretty basic fundamental thing for everyone. We both realized that we want to share ourselves with each other, but we don't know how far we will be able to take it at this point. Right now it will just have to remain as friends.

Eventually I asked him where this was all going.
Him: That's something I've been struggling with.
Me: What exactly is the struggle?
Him: The distance for one thing.

There were a few other reasons but basically he feels like he needs to get on his feet before he can get into a relationship. But the basic reason I think is because we will be so far apart from each other.

The after math. We stayed out really really late. Eventualy my car died and we had to walk all the way to Dallas' place and now a couple of days later he is really sick. If I had known that would happen I wouldn't have stayed out so late. I shouldn't have done it anyway, and I get disapproving looks from everyone so there is no need to go into that. Anyway, that's pretty much it, or at least all that I want to talk about right now. I might have more details later but for now I'm going to enjoy my Satuday off by going shopping with my little sister.

Wanna Know a Secret?

My life is nearly perfect. I'm surrounded by family that supports me, I have a car just given to me, school just waiting for me, and a job that one day I will own. I saw the R.M. a couple days ago and I expected a movie that would be more like the Home Teachers. Comical and kind of slap-sticky. And it was to a point, but for some reasons all of the horrible things that poor guy went through hit close to home. I'm not saying those are the things I came home too, but their were a few disappointments.

I know it's just a movie but I noticed that the R.M. never complained about how horrible his homecoming was. He never said a word. The only outburst he had was when he found out the name of his ex's fiance. And that was more for comical reasons (the actors real name is Kirby) though it was out of character for him cause for the most part he silently took the abuse. I couldn't help but admire that quality and wished I had more of the same.

In comparison my homecoming wasn't nearly as horrible and I have few things to complain about and I make them known to everyone. I don't focus much on the fact that I have just about everything I need. I have a family that will do anything to make me happy. I could really abuse that privilage. It would be so easy. I could get anything I want from them because they love me so much. What more could you want from a mom and dad?

Any way, just feeling rather thoughtful right now.