He reminds me of my dad...

My dad is a great guy. I mean, come on, he's my dad. He's been by my side all the years. He protects me, cares for me. Loves me.

But I am not attracted to my dad.

He looks like my dad, he talks like my dad, he even wears the same glasses. I'm not sure what to think about it.

He picked me up and took me to dinner. I picked Mongolian BBQ. It's a good place for a first date. You find out interesting things about someone by what they put in their bowl. He had some intersting combinations. But he didn't fill it all the way up while I piled mine on. He eats the way he drives. Five miles under the speed limit. Then we went to the theater and watched Hoodwinked. Which was cute and funny. I enjoyed it. And so did he.

We had good wholesome conversation. Nothing weird, nothing out of the ordinary. We learned a few new things about each other. I need some friends in Boise so I can start having some parties. I need to start doing this the way we do taxes at my work.

The client calls for an appointment and we tell them to bring their stuff in a week in advance. We take their stuff, learn a little about them, enter in all of their data into the computer, and by the time they come in we have a good idea of where this all needs to go. We know what they are like. When they sit down with the preparer they can start talking finacial strategy.

See if we did something of the same thing with my dates then the whole first date thing might not be so weird. Do something casual, get them around lots of people go from one person to the next kind of getting a feel for them. Do this enough times and you can get a pretty good handle on who the guy is. Now, keep in mind you are giving EVERY guy in the room a chance, not just the ones you have the hots for.

So, I can data enter all of their info into my little brain I wouldn't have to worry about this getting to know you stuff and focus more on strategy.

I'm mostly kidding ;)

I am going to go on another date with him. He asked me what the possibility was for us doing this again. I said it was good, but I didn't give him any ideas of when. Hopefully he'll take the lead this time. I don't mind guiding someone, but I do like some kind of effort on their part.

I just don't know what to do about him looking and acting so much like my date. It's just weird. And to be honest I think it's going to be a while before I'm going to go on a date and not think about James. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I want to think about him. It just kind of pops into my head. But, Darin is nice. He's a gentleman. And I happy with getting to know him.

My mom talks to dogs, my first day of school, and the hot chocolate date!

I just want to give you a picture of what I look like when I'm on the computer. I would actually take a picture but I'm being really lazy tonight and truthfully you are lucky I'm even posting right now. I'm drugged up on NyQuil and will be hitting the hay very soon.

We have a very nice large computer chair. You've seen the type. Unsuspecting soon-to-be-hero walks into the big dark lair of evil nemesis. All is quiet...too quiet. Getting into the room was easy...too easy. The afore mentioned chair faces the beautiful clear blue sky viewed through bullet proof glass...wait a minute, we're ten stories up! Just when you think no one is around the chairs swivles around revealing-[insert evil foe here].
I always imagine Richard Simmons. *shudders* I can still here his evil voice, promising all of those people on the show weight lose when secretly behind the scenes he's forcing them to each chocolate doughnuts for evil purposes of his own. I mean seriously, those people never lost weight.

But I digres.

So that's the type of chair I'm sitting it. My legs are resting on top of the desk the keyboard against my knees. I look very kick backed and relaxed. My dad came down one time as I was sitting like this typing away at the computer and he said I was the only one he's ever seen do that. He said it in that, "I've missed seeing you do that. It's nice to have you back," sort of way that he does every once in a while like he's being reminded that I haven't been home for a while.

So I told my mom about Juju and how I talked to her that night she feel on the stairs. She also got a hold of the IM I had printed off from when we talked. It's the only time I ever printed off an IM of our conversations. I wanted it for when I acutally went up to Juju so I didn't forget anything. I just forgot to take it away so no one could read it. So my mom read it and she figured out that you were the friend I keep talking about that talks to animal.
The next day I came home from dinner and my mom says to me:
"So I was folding clothes on the bed watching some TV and Juju makes a little nest in the middle of the clean clothes. I cleared my mind and just thought to her, "I know you are tired and want to rest but could you please move some place else so I don't have to move you and disturb you later?"
My mom said split seconds later Juju got up and moved and very calming slept on a different part of the bed.
So my mom doesn't think we are crazy, but we told my dad and he thinks we are.

I've been sick for a while and I'm just getting worse. Last night was the worst night of my life. I got two hours of sleep and at 6:15 am I was out the door and heading for Boise wishing that today was not the first day of school. But I made it through ok and I'm going to be a very busy girl of the next few months. I have a lot of work a head of me. I'm excited. I like keeping busy and I'm going to be very very busy.

Last week I had a great time talking with this guy at an Institute activity. I've known him for a long time but we've never been very close. But last week we flirted our way into having a date this morning for hot chocolate just before choir. It was lots of fun. He's a a cute kid. He's a year older than me to the day as we share a birthday. We played on each others words and I made sure that he knew that though he may think he's incharge I have a few tricks up my sleeve. He has this thing with making me feel like he's got me right where he wants me. I blocked his verbal (innocent) traps so nicely even I was surprise. We read comics together and he has this thing about tickeling my knees. This kid is a huge flirt. He's nice and fun but not something I would look seriously into for a long while. So although I'm working on two hours of sleep I would say I had a pretty successful day!

Juju means luck

So when I came home from my mission we had two new additions to the family. Tweeker and Juju. Tweeker is another pomeranian that is my sister's dog but he loves my dad. Juju is a dachound and is my sisters boyfriends dog and is the cutest most adorable dog you have ever seen and I feel in love with her. She is in love with my mom but I come in at a close second. I try to spend as much time with her as I can. But even so, if my mom is anywhere in the house she would rather be with my mom.

So tonight when my mom is in our closed living room getting a massage by one of my friends (my friend is a pro and very good) I took it upon myself to have some bonding time with Juju. Juju is squirming to get free but usually after a while she will calm down and leave thought of my mom alone until she appears again. Well, the phone rang and I started walking around with a cordless phone while walking down our wooden stairs Juju desides to squirm again and I lost my grip on her.

Needless to say she had a bad fall and then procceded to slide down the stairs. She started crying and wouldn't stop. She sounded as if someone was trying to kill her. Physically she looks like she's fine. I felt horrible and now she won't come any where near me. I worked with her hoping she could know that I ment her no harm but as I was putting her down I scared her or something maybe hit a nerve that made her remember her hurt leg and she started crying again. So now she really won't go any where near me. I tried talking to her, but I don't know how to listen and I can only see her being afraid of me.
I feel like crap now.

My Date

You pretty much got the short and tall of it this morning but I'll start at the beginning and see how much I can remember.

I went over to his place about 7:00pm. We had planned earlier this morning to make dinner at his place and either go out to see a movie or stay in a watch what we have. But when I arrived I found out that Dallas was sick and he didn't want to disturb him from his sicky sleepiness so we decided to go out to eat and see if there were any shows playing that we would want to watch.

We went to the Macaroni Grill, a really good Italian restraunt. We enjoyed catching up with each other and all of the weirdness from before was gone. I can only figure that he was sick and tired so he wasn't up for talking much when I had talked to him before. So anyway we left the restraunt and drove around for a little bit trying to figure out what we were going to do. We tried the movies but nothing was playing that we both wanted to watch and we didn't want to go back home so we pulled into a parking lot and started talking. We actually stayed that way for a while. Just talking and enjoying each others company. I'll leave out all of the kissing stuff but there was lots of that, but I will share with you the things we talked about in between.

He kept asking me how I was doing. Always wanting to make sure I was happy. This was before we even started kissing. I'm not sure what prompts him to do so but when I talk about my life he says, "If there is anything that you need, anything that I can do for you please know that I am here for you." Is he just feeding me a line? I don't think so, and if he is, well, actions speak louder then words and I will soon find out. But I saw him as a missionary and I've seen him with his other friends. He treats people in general this way. Wanting them to know that he is there for them.

I mentioned to him that I've never had someone say those type of things to me. Now, thinking about it, I have had people say that but never a boy whom I've become close to. I asked him if he had always been like that. "Yes," he said, "but my mission taught me how to say those words."

We talked about some other random things eventually I asked him, "When you first kissed me, was it something spear of the moment or had you been thinking about it for a while?" He said he had been thinking about it for a while, but since a while could mean, hours or days, I asked, "How long is a while?"
Him: "A few days."
Me: Why did you kiss me?
Him: (long silent pause - honestly if this guy is feeding me lines then he is a very good actor) It's how I show affection. The time I've spent with you has ment a lot to me and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you.
Lets see what else did I ask him? I asked him what would be the most important thing he would want me to know about him.
Him: (long pause again) You know me as Elder Holstien and you know me as James Holstien. You pretty much know everything I would want you to know.
Me: Sure, but that doesn't mean there might be something I don't know.

What I was really trying to find out was what part of himself and his character means the most to him. What does he nurish and feed but also guard and protect.
The short answer to that question is friendship. His desire to have friends and be friends. We are two peas in a pod in that respect. He asked me the same question in return and I told him basically that the better my friends treat me the better I will treat them and in return the more loyal I will be. It's a pretty basic fundamental thing for everyone. We both realized that we want to share ourselves with each other, but we don't know how far we will be able to take it at this point. Right now it will just have to remain as friends.

Eventually I asked him where this was all going.
Him: That's something I've been struggling with.
Me: What exactly is the struggle?
Him: The distance for one thing.

There were a few other reasons but basically he feels like he needs to get on his feet before he can get into a relationship. But the basic reason I think is because we will be so far apart from each other.

The after math. We stayed out really really late. Eventualy my car died and we had to walk all the way to Dallas' place and now a couple of days later he is really sick. If I had known that would happen I wouldn't have stayed out so late. I shouldn't have done it anyway, and I get disapproving looks from everyone so there is no need to go into that. Anyway, that's pretty much it, or at least all that I want to talk about right now. I might have more details later but for now I'm going to enjoy my Satuday off by going shopping with my little sister.

Wanna Know a Secret?

My life is nearly perfect. I'm surrounded by family that supports me, I have a car just given to me, school just waiting for me, and a job that one day I will own. I saw the R.M. a couple days ago and I expected a movie that would be more like the Home Teachers. Comical and kind of slap-sticky. And it was to a point, but for some reasons all of the horrible things that poor guy went through hit close to home. I'm not saying those are the things I came home too, but their were a few disappointments.

I know it's just a movie but I noticed that the R.M. never complained about how horrible his homecoming was. He never said a word. The only outburst he had was when he found out the name of his ex's fiance. And that was more for comical reasons (the actors real name is Kirby) though it was out of character for him cause for the most part he silently took the abuse. I couldn't help but admire that quality and wished I had more of the same.

In comparison my homecoming wasn't nearly as horrible and I have few things to complain about and I make them known to everyone. I don't focus much on the fact that I have just about everything I need. I have a family that will do anything to make me happy. I could really abuse that privilage. It would be so easy. I could get anything I want from them because they love me so much. What more could you want from a mom and dad?

Any way, just feeling rather thoughtful right now.