My Date

You pretty much got the short and tall of it this morning but I'll start at the beginning and see how much I can remember.

I went over to his place about 7:00pm. We had planned earlier this morning to make dinner at his place and either go out to see a movie or stay in a watch what we have. But when I arrived I found out that Dallas was sick and he didn't want to disturb him from his sicky sleepiness so we decided to go out to eat and see if there were any shows playing that we would want to watch.

We went to the Macaroni Grill, a really good Italian restraunt. We enjoyed catching up with each other and all of the weirdness from before was gone. I can only figure that he was sick and tired so he wasn't up for talking much when I had talked to him before. So anyway we left the restraunt and drove around for a little bit trying to figure out what we were going to do. We tried the movies but nothing was playing that we both wanted to watch and we didn't want to go back home so we pulled into a parking lot and started talking. We actually stayed that way for a while. Just talking and enjoying each others company. I'll leave out all of the kissing stuff but there was lots of that, but I will share with you the things we talked about in between.

He kept asking me how I was doing. Always wanting to make sure I was happy. This was before we even started kissing. I'm not sure what prompts him to do so but when I talk about my life he says, "If there is anything that you need, anything that I can do for you please know that I am here for you." Is he just feeding me a line? I don't think so, and if he is, well, actions speak louder then words and I will soon find out. But I saw him as a missionary and I've seen him with his other friends. He treats people in general this way. Wanting them to know that he is there for them.

I mentioned to him that I've never had someone say those type of things to me. Now, thinking about it, I have had people say that but never a boy whom I've become close to. I asked him if he had always been like that. "Yes," he said, "but my mission taught me how to say those words."

We talked about some other random things eventually I asked him, "When you first kissed me, was it something spear of the moment or had you been thinking about it for a while?" He said he had been thinking about it for a while, but since a while could mean, hours or days, I asked, "How long is a while?"
Him: "A few days."
Me: Why did you kiss me?
Him: (long silent pause - honestly if this guy is feeding me lines then he is a very good actor) It's how I show affection. The time I've spent with you has ment a lot to me and I wanted you to know how much I appreciate you.
Lets see what else did I ask him? I asked him what would be the most important thing he would want me to know about him.
Him: (long pause again) You know me as Elder Holstien and you know me as James Holstien. You pretty much know everything I would want you to know.
Me: Sure, but that doesn't mean there might be something I don't know.

What I was really trying to find out was what part of himself and his character means the most to him. What does he nurish and feed but also guard and protect.
The short answer to that question is friendship. His desire to have friends and be friends. We are two peas in a pod in that respect. He asked me the same question in return and I told him basically that the better my friends treat me the better I will treat them and in return the more loyal I will be. It's a pretty basic fundamental thing for everyone. We both realized that we want to share ourselves with each other, but we don't know how far we will be able to take it at this point. Right now it will just have to remain as friends.

Eventually I asked him where this was all going.
Him: That's something I've been struggling with.
Me: What exactly is the struggle?
Him: The distance for one thing.

There were a few other reasons but basically he feels like he needs to get on his feet before he can get into a relationship. But the basic reason I think is because we will be so far apart from each other.

The after math. We stayed out really really late. Eventualy my car died and we had to walk all the way to Dallas' place and now a couple of days later he is really sick. If I had known that would happen I wouldn't have stayed out so late. I shouldn't have done it anyway, and I get disapproving looks from everyone so there is no need to go into that. Anyway, that's pretty much it, or at least all that I want to talk about right now. I might have more details later but for now I'm going to enjoy my Satuday off by going shopping with my little sister.