I'm back

Been gone for a while. July and August were crazy months for me. And the only reason why I'm blogging now is because I can't sleep and I just remembered I had a blog. Life can do that to you when things get thrown around and upside down what with getting married and all. It's a good thing only one person actually pays attention to this thing and she's seen me and talked to me since the whole engagement thing. So I don't feel too bad.

So of course I had to move out of my apartment, get a wedding dress (heh that was the easy part), plan the reception, get the honeymoon taken care of, and meld my world with two males I've never lived with before. My husband is none other then Flash who I've posted about before. I can hardly believe how far we've come in such a short time.

The second little man is just that, a little man. He's my four year old, blond, cute as a button image of his father step-son. Yep I'm an instant mom. He actually came up to me a couple days ago and asked if he could call me mom. Of course I could never replace his mom and we both know that and the ex-wife and I have come to an agreement that the Little Man can decide on what he will call me.

It's too bad I didn't make that clear to my husband. Flash has been trying to respect his ex-wife by having LM call me Mama Em. Which makes me sound like a grandma. Our discussion was a little heated over that one but it's been working out.

It's been an interesting experience learning to be married. It really isn't something you just do naturally. Well some of it anyway. There are some things I can do just fine. Like making meals, doing dishes, laundry, etc. Other things more personal and having to do with my personality have been more difficult. I've been more emotional and less rational since we've been married and Flash gets a little frustrated with that.

But I've come to the realization that it really isn't about me. I got scared in the beginning thinking that I couldn't trust either Flash nor God to take care of me and I started to struggle between wanting to take care of Flash and the LM and myself at the same time. Which causes problems because I got emotional about the smallest of things.

I need to put more trust in God and in Flash and rely on that good ol' friend of mine patience. She's a good one to keep around.

On a side note the three of us were driving to my parents house for our weekly Sunday dinner and Flash kept positioning his mirror (I was driving so he used his visor mirror) to just looked at me. I can't say stared at me because that would imply he was being rude or obnoxious. But he just looked like he appreciated what he saw.

He's never done that before. *squee* now I feel all warm and gushy inside.