The Rock

No actor could claim the title "The Rock" as worthily as a simple man from Idaho could. And that man is my dad. For the last couple days I've been experiencing some pains in my uterus area that gave me cause for alarm considering my baby is only 24 weeks along. I finally was convinced to go to the hospital last night at 10:30 (MST) and finding someone to go with me was difficult.

Everyone I knew needed to be at work the next day including my husband and since emergency visits are expensive we didn't feel it wise to have him take off a day from work. No matter how understanding the situation is Flash does not get sick or vacation pay. So we decided he'd stay home and I called my parents to come hold my hand during a very scary visit that could end up telling me my baby's life was in jeopardy.

I knew my mom would already be asleep and my dad answered the phone and without missing a beat said he's be right there. Now understand first my mom would have been there but she's an insomniac and takes sleeping pills to help her get a good nights rest. She was out for the count and second my parents live half an hour away from me. So both my parents get stellar points for my dad coming to this emergency visit alone.

But then my dad gets to the hospital. I'm already in a hospital gown and hooked up to monitors when he comes through the door and sits by my bed side and waits with me.

And I write this with tears in my eyes, "MY DAD IS AMAZING!!!"

I always knew this but last night he gave me exactly what I needed. He did not go off about how the baby could be in danger, he did not play down the situation either. He just had this calming air of we'll see when we'll see and when we see we will deal with it. He was a total rock. When the pains would come on strong he would coach me on breathing steady and let me chat his ear off when I needed it. When I needed to get a pelvic exam he didn't go running in the hallway, even though I told him he could, he stayed with me the entire time saying, "I've had four kids and been through enough exams with your mom. I'm fine" and stayed put just like the rock he is.

So dad thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You were a great source of strength to me in a time I felt totally out of control.

Now everyone knows who really is "The Rock".

P.S. For those who are wondering the baby and I are fine. I need to drink lots more water and attend the bathroom more often but everything should be just fine.

The Beginning of My Career

I've been going to school since the Spring of 2002 so minus the 2 years I spent as a missionary I've had about five years of educational experience. By the time I graduate from school I'll have the right to claim super senior status and then some.

I've gone through probably four different majors in the hopes to find something that would bring satisfaction in my life. I discarded a couple because they were unfullfilly and impracticle. Other because it would take me too long to graduate. When I finally settled on Technical Communications it was because it was the quickest way for me to graduate in something that would actually give me a career and generate revenue. It's also something I enjoy ...which helps.

Eventually I decided to try my hand at web design(a part of my major) realizing it was something I could do easily from home. Relatives of my husband offered to help me by offering an internship enabling me to re-design their website.

I started the internship at the beginning of June and for three months I realized how much I still need to learn. But helping Hyde Away Ranch re-design their web site has been a lot of fun. One of my favorite things about this career choice is it lets me have a reason to be a know-it-all.

Learning about miniature horses has been a lot of fun. The website won't be updated until September 26th so enjoy the way it looks now because the difference will be amazing.

You've Had a Birthday Shout Hurray!

Five Years Old. I met MiniFlash when he was three so I've officially known this kid for two years. We debated throwing a big party similair to his 4th but decided to keep it down to the three of us.

We rode our bikes to the park close to our house to play and have some fun. It was a bit hot so we didn't stay long. While we were out we got some snow cones (mine and MiniFlash's favorites). He looks a bit flushed in his photos because we had just gotten back from riding in the hot hot sun. I told my Flash the snow cones was the only way he could get me to ride my bike to the park that day. :)

So here are the pictures of our big boy and Flash attempting to make a cake and uncooked the middle.

The Big Move

Back in February Flash and I decided to move in with my family to save money for a house. The original plan was to stay for at least a year. There were other plans such as paying off the truck and finding a house in the same city as my parents. It's a nice city that's not too big and not too small and we liked how our lives were developing there.

We quickly realized though that if we were to have MiniFlash in our lives as often as we wanted we would have to move to the same city as his mom. A city that is bigger, more crowed, and with more traffic. Something Flash WAS NOT looking forward to but as I said the realization hit home pretty hard with MiniFlash going to school with his mom that chances were we wouldn't be seeing him as often.

So we decided to start looking for a home in August after Flash had taken his journymans exam. But one day I come home and Flash had found a house that was not only in our price range but had a lot of potential. We would need a bigger home eventually but there was enough property around we could add on.

This was in April by this time we sold Flash's old house and we set things in motion immediatly. By the end of May the house, or should I say the loan was in our name and we had moved.

MiniFlash decided he wanted to "help pack".

Here are a few pictures of our bedrooms

That green square is chalkboard paint. Those dots on the walls are starch treated fabric from a Transformers fabric we got a Wal Mart.

1 Down an Eternity to Go

Yesterday Flash and I enjoyed our first year anniversary together. Flash gets up every weekday at 6:30am and head off to work by 7:00am. Normally I'm awake and he'll give me a kiss goodbye as I'm eating breakfast and watching the Today show. If I'm still asleep he'll come in quietly and give me a gentle kiss and an "I love you" before heading off to earn his keep.

Yesterday morning I was still in bed (not asleep but in bed) and Flash came bounding into the room yelling, "Happy Anniversary!" landing on top of me and finishing it all with a hug that squeezes the breath out of you. We laughed and congradulated each other on surviving our first year together and joked about calling in sick to work to spend the whole day together.

But alas we decided to be adults and he went off to work while I stayed in bed realizing I still had 20 minutes before I really had to get up.

About the time I was ready to get up I heard the truck pull in on our gravel drive way indicating Flash did not have to work that day. I then had the idea that we could actually take the day off for our anniversary. Once he came in it was decided and I emailed my work to let them know I wasn't coming in.

We did everything from laying in bed to going to Home Depot to buy a new faucet for our kitchen. We hung up the decorations I got over the weekend and headed out to Caldwell to transfer our old truck plates to our new one (smaller, greener, more economical version of what we had before). We went to my parents house who were also taking a day off and played on the Wii fit (I'm very sore in the legs and abs)while also visiting with my brother who just came home from BYU-I for the fall. We saw an early show of "The Dark Knight" (Christian Bale and Heath Ledger are amazing! AMAZING I tell you) and then went to dinner at Olive Garden.

We had a wonderful day together and I feel so blessed to have that man in my life.

Sealings and Shots

Last week our little family went to a BBQ with my in-laws. It wasn't our week to have MiniFlash but his mom was nice enough to let us have him for a couple hours and even past his bed time. We don't see Flash's side of the family very often and I don't even remember the last time we all got together. Since we've only been married for a year (only! HA! My anniversary is this coming Monday and I'm totally excited) and we don't get together much I'm not really familiar with anyone.

At least I know everyones names so I guess that's a start. I'm pretty much a wall flower in new situations unless I'm in charge and then a flourish, possibly even in an annoying sort of way. Not that I'm trying too hard I'm just having fun. Being a wall flower and uncomfortable is no reflection on the group of people I'm with, I'm just shy.

So I thought I'd be in for another round of uncomfortable conversation and being out of the loop on jokes but this time around it was pleasant. MiniFlash had a great time playing with his cousins Travis was his weird self as usual and I wasn't just a wall flower. I wasn't in my element but I wasn't a wall flower. I felt close to comfortable. I left feeling very happy and pleased about seeing my in-laws instead of feeling like I didn't contribute much.

Sunday we got one step closer to getting our paper work done for the sealing, meaning the bishop gave us back the letter Travis wrote because it needed some updating. Things have changed a bit since the last First Presidency letter one being the pregnancy. This time around we stressed the point of needing the sealing done before the baby was born. We feel it would be more unifying for our little family if MiniFlash doesn't feel like he's being pushed aside while the baby gets sealed to us. Being born in the covenant would be so much easier. The bishop received the new letter on Wednesday and asked us to bug him again on Sunday for the final touches. Keep your fingers crossed.

Thursday was the day Miniflash got his 5 year old shots in preparation for going to school. It was emotional. He screamed and cried most of the time we were there even during the exam and had to be held down by three people (two of which were Flash and I) while two others put five shots in his legs.

I think the scariest part for him was being held down so hard. Every time he talked about getting five shots to other people he wouldn't start crying again until he got to the part about being held down. We explained to him before bed time why it had to happen that way and hopefully he'll be able to look back on it with understanding instead of hate and fear.

But he's not complaining about his legs hurting this morning and last night he only crawled on the floor a little bit before realizing he could actually walk so I think the worst is over. Like what happens to most of us hopefully he'll forget about his shots.

Today he gets to go with me to Grandma Hydes house, his mom's grandma. Flash's ex-in-laws are giving me my summer internship and that will be explained another day but MiniFlash loves Grandma Hyde and I'm sure it'll be a good day.

Peaches

The title of this post is actually something I copied from the Grey's Anatomy blog. It's the title of a song I have stuck in my head by the Presidents of the United States which was pretty popular in my high school days. It's not that I'm thinking about peaches and have some sort of prego craving for them. But when you're up really early on a day you don't work the opening line of that song just fits, "Early in the morning gonna eat a lot of peaches," which just seems like a silly thing to be doing or singing about.

This blog is not so much an update as it's the prelude to many updates. Since the only real news that's been heard from me was my pregnancy I thought I'd update in parts cause there's sooooo much to tell. So this is the rough outline of what I'll be talking about in the next few days:

- The Big Move to Boise
- School update and starting the Internship
- Treyson Turns Five
- Jen Turns 30
- 4th of July in Oregon

I say rough because I could remember something I wanted to talk about that's not on the list but that's what I've got so far. And there will be pictures!

The Skinny

I've sat down at the computer to post something five or six times but I always draw a blank. It doesn't help that lately I haven't had the Internet at my home so I try to do a post update at work. So as the blank persists I click on the little red X and just move on to what I should be doing instead.

But now I have the Internet at home. I can post away feeling no guilt. Except of course for the gnawing pain in my stomach telling me it's time to eat. Normally I would just ignore it and eat after I'm done and the gnawing pain would eventually go away. Except now that I'm pregnant when the pain goes away the mock throwing up starts and that does not go away until baby is no longer hungry.

Ok so now I have some carrots to munch on so baby is satisfied I can continue to post. Except MiniFlash is calling to me from the bathroom asking for some clothes to change into for the day.

Ok now that MiniFlash is dressing himself I can get back to updating the world on my current activities. Except now I'm thinking about the pile of books laying around the office that need to be put away, the boxes of pictures and memorabilia that need to be organized, the stack of bills that need attending too, the clutter of dishes in the sink that have been ignored for days, the shopping list on the refrigerator that needs to be cleared, and the many frames of pictures and decorations that need to be mounted on walls...

(Laughs weakly) Guess I can't avoid the other things I should be doing at home either.

Cooked Onions

I've never been a fan of onions. I pretty much dislike everything about them. From the moment I crack that thin layer of whatever protective coating you would call that flaky stuff the water works start up and I'm not even emotionally upset about anything. Unless the fact that I actually have to touch an onion counts. Next comes the juice. You can't touch any where on your body, especially your face or eyes, because then the stinging will begin. Why it doesn't hurt my hands but the rest of me is off limits I'll never know.

The smell isn't so great either. It makes your breath and your hands stink. And it just DOESN'T GO AWAY! Have you ever seen that part in the Labyrinth when they get trapped in the Bog of Eternal Stench and the little dwarf guys says you get touched with that stuff and it'll make you stink FOREVER. Well that's what working with onions is like, it turns my hands into the Hands of Eternal Stench.

But I've always been able to tolerate it ok. I hate raw onions but I'm ok with the cooked stuff that is hidden artfully within a meal thereby only claiming the right of adding flavor like a seasoning and not being an actual part of the meal.

That is until I got pregnant and it's tragic.

Cause even though I don't like onions and would prefer them to be hidden within a meal I love sauteed onions and mushrooms. What's more I love sauteed onions and mushrooms on hot pastrami sandwiches. Something my family makes often.

But alas now that I'm pregnant my dislike for onions has turned into an all out war between my tastebuds and my stomach. And just so you know my sense of smell has sided with my stomach. It's like all of a sudden my tastebuds have become Germany a normally peaceful and good country but ruled by a horrible leader and my sense of smell is the United States coming to Englands defence from total annihilation.

So now I'm a bit queasy and not seeing much end in sight. Unless you count seven months from now but I was really really hoping I could have a hot pastrami sandwich without wanting to throw up sooner then that. Especilly since sushi's been taken from me too.

Boo hoo

You Can Tell From Six!

Open Sesame!!

The internet has provided the ordinary person an opportunity to go beyond the everyday hum drum existance to create a world that is beyond the reaches of modern physics. The identiy of scrawny John Doe an ordinary accountant with no distiguishing features was altered to the internet screenname of Lord Alatáriël Súrion of the fair folk beautiful and daring who enters in on many adventures.

Screennames and passwords - heaven forbide identity thieft should reach the realms of imagination - were created as an alter ego. Ten years ago I created a password for my email account that I thought signified me as a person and it became the password for my various online accounts. This secret password was like the key that unlocked the alter ego I created for myself something - much like my screenname - was another part of myself.

So imagine my disgust when I was asked to change my password to add symbols and numbers. Imagine my farther disgust when I was asked to not only make sure my password had numbers and symbols in it but I wasn't allowed to use up to 10 of my previous passwords. My password was not just a word, it was part of my alter ego - a part of me they were asking me to destroy.

But - I have a plan! I think we live in a day and age where voice activation is the only way to truly secure our alter egos. To keep them safe from the evil intentions of evil doers we must use our voices (literally). This will save our passwords from being corrupted by the internet society that refused to see we can keep our alter egos safe!

Of course then we'll probably have to start using robotice equivalents mixed in with our own voices to duplicated the symbols and numbers of the typed passwords era.

Falling Into It

Yesterday was Easter and Flash and I got to spend it with Mini Flash this year. He's getting so big now and he's only four! Every time he comes back to us I feel like I'm looking at somebody new. So the three of us were sitting around the table eating ham, cheesy potatoes, and broccoli when MF has to go potty.

It's pretty normal for MF to be in the bathroom for a really long time. I think he likes to play with the water when he washes his hands in the sink. Flash isn't totally aware of this very slow nature of his little boy (it doesn't end with the bathroom, he takes forever getting dressed, eating, brushing his teeth, even walking) and commented on how long he took.

When MF finally came back to the table the conversation goes something like this:

Me: We were beginning to think you fell in the toilet.
MF: Why did you think I fell in the toilet?
Me: Because you took a really long time coming back to the table.
MF: But why does that mean you thought I fell into the toilet.
Me: It's just something you say sometimes when someone takes a long time in the bathroom. It's like a joke.
MF: Oh.

This conversation wouldn't be worth posting about if it wasn't for the next conversation that happened this morning. MF was hungry and I went to fix him a piece of toast leaving him to play on the computer upstairs.

Me: Here's your toast sweetheart.
MF: Thank you.
MF: I was beginning to think you fell in the microwave.

Oh how I laughed.

Pay it Forward

So I decided to make a promise. I got this from another blogger's blog. I guess there's this blogger wide attempt to do a pay it forward sort of thing. The way this works is, the first three people to comment on this post will get a hand made gift from yours truly.

Of course you are wondering what's in it for yours truly? Well, the other blogger I was telling you about...she's making me a gift too but I had to promise to post the same promise on my own blog.

So guess what! The first three people who post on my blog has to promise to post it on their blog too! And the gifts just keep on giving!

The only problem is as far as I know only three people read this blog and one of them is the person I'm already getting a gift from. :)

Missing Socks

So I figured out where missing socks go....here's how I found out.

Date: Sunday January 13, 2008
Location: A nice luxury room in Idaho Mountains
Time: 8:00am

(Setting: My husband crawled into bed with me after baby-sitting a bunch of boys from my work all night long)

Flash: I lost a sock
Me: Just "A" sock? (I use my feet to confirm that yes he was only missing ONE sock)
Flash: I looked everywhere for it. I couldn't find it.
Me: Well, at least you brought plenty more.

(Flash gets up to take a shower. Before he walks to the bathroom he opens the door of our master bedroom and bugs our friend sleeping on the couch.)
Me: (see something sticking out of the back of his pants) Hey babe...
Flash: (Still looking out into the living room) Yeah?
Me: I found your sock

Bathroom humor

There are two things I want to mention about the bathroom I hope you'll find as funny as I do.

There are days when I spend the whole day studying at school. When I start I can't just get up and walk away from my stuff (if you've read any past blogs you'll know how much stuff I have which has doubled lately with an additional bag of books for research). Walking away could result in a stolen computer (which I've done once already years and years ago...long story don't ask). So I've come to a realization about studying:

It's like going on a long trip....make sure you go to the bathroom first and make scheduled stops so you're not frantically rushing to a bathroom before it's too late.

Then there are the automatic toilet flushers

There's nothing more freaky then having one flush when you're still on it.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to pack my stuff up and rush off somewhere. I'm sure you'll guess where.

LDS Stepmoms

So I've come to realize that LDS stepmoms don't need support groups. I've looked every where for one. LdsLinkup, Facebook, yahoo!, AOL, and anything else I happen to be affiliated with.

There are lots of stepmom groups out there and I plan on joining the ones that best match my needs, but there's something to be said about being able to talk about how your beliefs influence the combined family you've stepped into.

In view of this fact I decided to make a group myself. It's called LDS Stepmoms (I know very original but I thought I'd keep it simple) on yahoo and I've provided a link in the Links part of the sidebar. It wasn't created to exclude anyone though the title might make it seem that way. But it is a place that LDS stepmoms can converse freely about their faith and the children they've tried to treat as their own.

So if anyone knows someone who could use a place to share their experiences and need a place for encouragment feel free to send them to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ldsstepmoms/

I also have some promotion buttons over there for easy access. :)

Mom but not the mom....

Role conflict is defined as the a role of one area of life crossing over and conflicting with a role in another part of life.

The example often used are the old flight attendence that had to act flirty and seductive without being available who are also mom's and wives back home. Your desire to be true to who you are at home conflicts with the role flight attendies had to take on.

So what do you call a role that is a conflict in and of itself?

Like being the stepmom. When you think stepmom initially all that comes to mind is a woman that is married to a man that has a son that's not your own. Most people draw the line there not thinking much farther of the complexities of the role.

Wow have I had an eye opener. Being a stepmom is so much more than just being some woman that's marrying a guy with kids. It's being the mom but not the mom.

What?

How do you define that to someone? How do you define that to yourself?

And I've found no books on the subject. Not any real useful ones. My local Deseret Bookstore has nothing on the subject anyway. My search has really ended there. Mainly because I don't want to get a non-LDS view point unless recommended by someone. The last thing I need is a book filling my head with stuff that doesn't apply to my situation.

There are so many conflicts with this role I've taken on. How do you disipline? How do you combine your role with your husbands role and the full on father? That sounds silly but trust me if you guys don't have it together it can create some serious issues. Nothing major has come up yet but I'm just waiting for the bottom to drop out.

But there are some perks. Last night I stayed at my parents to satisfy a silly obsession of mine (Heroes) while Flash took Mini Flash home. About an hour later when Flash and I got home I get a phone call from Mini Flash. He just wanted to talk and say goodnight to me. His mom told me he couldn't figure out why I wasn't there and was very upset that he couldn't give me a goodnight hug. So he asked his mom to call me so he could do it over the phone.

Man...melt my heart why dontcha!

A conversation with myself...

Realizing I carry too much stuff aroiund at school I go through a mental checklist:

School Related Material:
- 5 folers one for each subject (replaced bulky binder)
- 1 1" three ring binder for E201 journal (considering another folder to conserve space)
- MGMT301 Text (will always need (dang it), always have work to do)
- E275 text ("Compact" Bedford for literature, even my teacher thought the phrase "compact" was ironic considering the size, this too I will always need see above)
- Tech Rhet text (again see above)
- pencil bag (gotta have a place for my writing material)
- map of Boise (don't need)
- computer internet cord (again don't need)
- bus schedule (torn up need a new one)
- agenda book (my brain, can't leave that behind)

Nutrition:
- lunch box w/ food for lunch and sometimes dinner (this...the source of my condencing problems)

Clothing:
- Light jacket (I'm a wuss and it gets cold; will be upgrading soon to heavier clothing plus gloves, scarves, and hat, winters coming)

Essentials to Life:
- cell phone
- iPod (leave either of these behind? Are you crazed? Will be combining both soon. Kinda getting a Verizon Chocolate phone)
- Car Keys
- wallet - duh.

Analysis Process:
Me: the lunch box has to go
Myself: I can't fit my food in my bag - not condusive for all lmy stuff
Me: That bag is expensive, light wieght, and condusive for heavy books if you can't make it work then you don't deserve the bag.
Myself: You're right, I deserve something better!

I love it when I win. :)

Not any fun any more...

I find it interesting the questions I've been getting lately have been reverted to just one. As if this question is the all encompassing symbol of my life.

How's married life?

It's almost as if anything I've ever done in my life is now null and void. It has now become the most interesting thing about me. Being married. It's almost like me being married is the only thing I think about so that's the only thing people ask me about.

Don't get me wrong. I love being married. It's the FIRST thing I think about when I'm asked what has God blessed me with in my life. Flash and MF (Mini Flash I had forgotten I had given him that nickname. Shows how long I haven't blogged). They certainly are a big part of my life now. But it's not the only thing I think about.

The three of us went camping with some friends. Katie has been my friend for years; a single mother of one daughter named Samantha had gotten married the day after I returned from my mission in California. Samantha and I have always been good friends. She was six when I first met her and now 11. During the course of the weekend this is the conversation we had:


Sam: I don't know what I'm going to do when you have a baby.
Me: What do you mean?
Sam: Well when you have a baby you're going to be even less fun than you already are!
Me: What?!?!
Sam: Well when you first came home you were no fun cause of school. Now you're married you're even less fun. When you have a baby it's just going to keep being no fun!

I got her back though. I told her she's been snappy and sulky all weekend and she's been no fun since she turned 11 (I know, so mature).

Is that what I've been reduced to? No fun?

Of course I have to keep in mind that she's 11. Nearly a teenager and never happy with anything. So I'm taking it with a grain of salt but it kind of reaffirmed what I already expected. People only see the married part of me. Before they find out I'm married we have a strong engaging conversation where we ask all sorts of questions of each other. But as soon as they find out I'm married it's all we can talk about.

It's two fold. One: am I not showing people there's more to me? Two: are people not creative? They can't think of anything else to ask?

My closest friends don't ask me this. So it could be more of a level of friendship sort of thing. But I find myself asking the same thing of other people who just got married.

One of my friends put it perfectly when I asked him that question, "What am I going to say? It's horrible?" I think he was getting as fed up with it then as I am now. Of course I'm not so much fed up with it as I find it amusing.

I'm back

Been gone for a while. July and August were crazy months for me. And the only reason why I'm blogging now is because I can't sleep and I just remembered I had a blog. Life can do that to you when things get thrown around and upside down what with getting married and all. It's a good thing only one person actually pays attention to this thing and she's seen me and talked to me since the whole engagement thing. So I don't feel too bad.

So of course I had to move out of my apartment, get a wedding dress (heh that was the easy part), plan the reception, get the honeymoon taken care of, and meld my world with two males I've never lived with before. My husband is none other then Flash who I've posted about before. I can hardly believe how far we've come in such a short time.

The second little man is just that, a little man. He's my four year old, blond, cute as a button image of his father step-son. Yep I'm an instant mom. He actually came up to me a couple days ago and asked if he could call me mom. Of course I could never replace his mom and we both know that and the ex-wife and I have come to an agreement that the Little Man can decide on what he will call me.

It's too bad I didn't make that clear to my husband. Flash has been trying to respect his ex-wife by having LM call me Mama Em. Which makes me sound like a grandma. Our discussion was a little heated over that one but it's been working out.

It's been an interesting experience learning to be married. It really isn't something you just do naturally. Well some of it anyway. There are some things I can do just fine. Like making meals, doing dishes, laundry, etc. Other things more personal and having to do with my personality have been more difficult. I've been more emotional and less rational since we've been married and Flash gets a little frustrated with that.

But I've come to the realization that it really isn't about me. I got scared in the beginning thinking that I couldn't trust either Flash nor God to take care of me and I started to struggle between wanting to take care of Flash and the LM and myself at the same time. Which causes problems because I got emotional about the smallest of things.

I need to put more trust in God and in Flash and rely on that good ol' friend of mine patience. She's a good one to keep around.

On a side note the three of us were driving to my parents house for our weekly Sunday dinner and Flash kept positioning his mirror (I was driving so he used his visor mirror) to just looked at me. I can't say stared at me because that would imply he was being rude or obnoxious. But he just looked like he appreciated what he saw.

He's never done that before. *squee* now I feel all warm and gushy inside.