More Remodeling Pictures

This here is one side of the house in our back yard-->
This is our back door as of two months ago

This is the other side of the house
The last pictures I showed did not quite do the exsentive work we are undertaking justice.

A Weekend Week

No one could be more lucky then I for I have had a weekend week.

What is a weekend week you ask? It's a full week of weekend activities.

Birthday parties both surprise and regular (for the same person no less), the rodeo, Tribond, dip dip, firesides, the air force, the Taliban, Red Robin, FHE, BBQ's, mosquitoes (all 19 bites, counted them all), parades, pony rides, bull ridin', bronco buckin', mutton bustin', cattle ropin', Pioneer Day, sun burns, pinices, attempts to set people up, wedding planning, and other such various activities.

Who wouldn't want to me after reading all of that?

I have not spent one night at home since last sunday without being out and about doing something until the very late hours of the night. Tonight is the first night that I have not gone out and done something with a bunch of people. I'm sure there was an activity tonight but since I dropped my phone in a cooler full of melted ice, a.k.a really cold water, I'm sure I would have gotten the invite. Or there was no activity because everyone is just as tired as I am.

I'm not that tired I guess because I'm still awake at almost 1 in the morning. Just finished reading Pride and predujice. I have to say there is probably no one that as had a better well rounded week then I.

I discovered that I enjoy being at the rodeo much more then one probably should but growing up in Idaho one can hardly blame me for it. Though I must inject that my favorite bull rider is from Temecula, CA. He got the highest score of any of the riders that night and he's from my mission. You can hardly blame me for professing nothing but undying love for him. Anyone that can ride a rampaging bull and live to tell the tale can hardly be considered unworthy of such devotion (I must remind my readers to read just about everything I put on here as if I speak with tongue in cheek. If I do write in a serious manner I will make sure to warn my readers before hand).

Pioneer Day was great. My dad and nephew were in the parade and my mom even ventured out. I must say having my dad be in the bishopric has been good for my family. They get out much more then usual. Though they complain a bit I remind them of the same things they used to say to me, "It's good for you. Builds character." It was awfully hot I guess it got to be 108 yesterday which for Idaho is very hot but I had the pleaser of helping where I was needed (that was the only real reason why I stayed after the parade, our ward was in charge for some activities) and I got to enjoy the pleasure of seeing a dear former companion of mine. It was one of the many tri-companionships I enjoyed. She and Sister Russell were the companions that took me in after I had been sent unexpectedly home from the MTC. I found out she is moving to Nampa and there was no end to my joy. I'm a little surprised that she would want to live here, but I guess she and her husband (who was a district leader of ours) liked it here that much when they served here.

The house is coming a long great though I am having trouble not being uneasy with the increase of bugs in our home. Flies are the least of my worries for I think I might have killed a hobo spider today. One of which I almost stepped on. If you do not know what a hobo is just know they are has deadly as black widows, almost as fear, and more in numbers. Ever since I killed it I've been feeling creepy crawlies on me all day.

Eich!

But other then that I have to say that my felicity (P&P words are great) knows no bounds at this present state I am at liberty to be in. :)

Rattle, rattle, rattle

Except it's very fast and consistant. What am I talking about? The air conditioner that is no longer outside but above my head is making anthing not screwed down tightly rattle.
That's right, for the next few months while we are remodeling we have the air conditioner in the room that is missing a wall. So we can continue to have a cool summer my room is going to hum and rattle.

My joy knoweth no bounds.

Remodeling and more drawing stuff.

Well it's official. There is no turning back. At least not for my folks it isn't. We've come to the point of full swing remodeling our home. Have some niffty pictures to post up. And then I recently did a drawing that I'm rather proud of. Now I forwarn you that a picture does not do it justice. It isn't the best thing in the world but it's mine and it at least resembles what I was trying to do. Whether you'll be able to tell what it is via the internet is yet to be determined.

Instead of going out last night I decided to get some homework done. Someone tried to ask me on a date but it's the same guy that's been trying to "just be my friend" but he's hopeful to a fault and it's time for me to back slowly away. So last night is when I did this drawing. Since we are remodeling we had to turn off our dish network *GASP* but we are surviving. Mom's watching old recordings of shows she likes to keep her sanity and I've been listening to lots of books on my iPod. Love that thing. So I've been catching up on my Narnia loar while I draw. Which has been wonderful. C.S. Lewis was a simple writer and gift most do not have. He knew how to say the right things is the best simpliest way. It's fanastic to listen to.

Alright here are the pictures enjoy!
So all of this remodeling is going on while we are living at home. And there might come a time when it'll be winter and it's still not done. We aren't for sure if that's going to happen. We'll see I guess.

Those three little words....

There are three little words in the english language that make my stomach tie up in knots, my knees buckle, and my face flush...those three little words are...

What is it?

You see when you are an artist (or someone who is trying to be one) and you draw something you hope that someone will recognize what it is. Well, unfortunatly I'm not as talented as I had hoped (which is why I'm taking this class in the first place right?)

Well now we are in the phase of value. The difference between light and dark or shading. Something I've always wanted to do. I can do simple things like outlining but when it comes to giving something depth...well lets just say I've been asked, "What is it?" a lot lately.

On the upside I see a difference in my drawing and my patience in myself as I'm drawing. So there ya go.

An Ideal Husband

The president of our Relief Society is a girl I've known for ages. We've been in the same ward since she and her family moved here from Eagle ten years prior. She about three years younger then me and quite a bit more serious but a sweetheart and perfect for the president position. She was told by our bishop to choose the best woman in the ward to be the secretary of our little women's association.
Seeing as the best woman in the ward was currently engaged in another calling she chose me.
Since then we have done things together on occasion to get to know one another better. We've discovered that we have a great sort of friendship. I'm willing to talk the night away and she is most willing to listen. Tonight we went out for Italian food (which has decided to make me burp garlic all night) and then we watched the movie, "An Ideal Husband". Which is a british comedy about scandle and the triumph of love.
It's the perfect movie to watch because it trully depicts what I am looking for in a relationship. Two people being very good friends and adoring another only to find out "Surprise!" that they actually love another. There is, of course, lots of other things going on, did I mention there was scandle involved?
But you see Pres and I were talking about the whole idea of falling in love and how it happens. She's a sucker for romance where I, being older and well more cynical, have realized that the sparks and romance is only half the battle. Actually it's more like smoke and mirrors and can play a dirty trick on the mind and heart.
If used carefully and for the good that passion can be pretty useful but only in the right circumstances. Which I've never had the pleasure of encountering.
Someone told me once that he didn't treat me the way someone should in a serious relationship. That he treated me like crap and I loved him anyway. The only thing I could think of was, "Well why don't you treat me properly so I can know what it feels like? Then the next time someone is treating me badly I'll know it for what it is."
I don't want to be single for the rest of my life but then again I don't want to marry the wrong person. There for I date whomever comes a long but run away when they show the slightest interest because the commitment becomes more then I can bear.
It's a rather silly mess I've gotten myself into.

Real puppets aren't cool anymore

The youngest age living at my home is 19. And they just moved out to their own place. I'm now the youngest person in my home. I'm 23. I watch things like Gilmore Girls, Everwood, and Grey's Anatomy (that's just a recent development).
I'm in California visiting some friends and I'll be watching their kids this weekend as they head to a wedding in Utah. They youngest they have in their house is 6. (Or at least I think she's 6) Yesterday while I was getting ready for the day I was left alone with Princess Girly Girly (PGG). It was a holiday so there was no school. She was chillin on the couch and I see on the tv bare hand puppets? I'd never seen a kids show like it. They have eyes and wigs attached to the hands. The thumb is used as the bottom of the mouth and the rest of the fingures are the top of the mouth. It was...interesting to watch.
When I was a kid puppets were real puppets. I watched Eurika's Castle. There were dragons and fairies and wizards. They were real puppets. But I guess you have to be different. You can't do things the same as everyone else. Real puppets just aren't cool anymore.

Fight or Flight

Gray's Anatomy season finale was based on the old (well old to me anyway) technical term "fight or flight."

I always thought of myself as a fighter. Who didn't run away from confrontation. It's not that I'm not afraid. I just don't like wasting time.

But then I wonder, am I really the type that stands and fights? Or am I the type to fly away when faced with serious conflict?

I look back on those moments in time when I felt like I was out of control and in pain. And I wanted to run. But then I never did and I never do. I WANT to but I never seem to make it. Why is that?

I think there's more to the theory then scientists and doctors know. Sure you have the fight. Standing there like an idiot and taking your hits whether you have the skills or not. Or....

there's the flight AND coming back to kick A$$!!

I went running on our new tread-mill tonight after I watched Gray's Anatomy. Making plans in my head to run away for the weekend by myself to McCall. A little city in the mountains about 2 hours northeast of here. Beautiful area. As I stepped on to the tread-mill I intended to run until I couldn't think any more while I listened to Rob Thomas. I wanted to forget about my problems, forget about how confused and emotional I've been lately. Run away from the memories of recent events. I just wanted to listen to music and run as far and as fast as I could.

But instead of letting my mind wonder from my woes the music brought me back. I started applying the words to my problems and I saw my enemy in my minds eye and said, "You can't have me!" Yes, I think in those terms. I think a lot about Christ and Satan and about the influences they have on me (Read 2 Nephi 28:20 and 2 Nephi 33:1 and you might understand why).

And I felt the fight come back to me. Which made me run stronger (not faster cause I was on a set speed). My steps were surer and my breathing was more calm, relaxed, determined.

I was weak. I couldn't fight and so I had to run away for a little bit. But that just means I'm getting ready to come back and kick some butt. I'm not ready for a full battle yet, but I'm getting there and I know how to get ready.

I feel so alive!

What I learned in College

1 - If I study every day I won't hate my classes.
2 - If I do my homework every day I won't hate my classes.
3 - If I turn my work in on time because I did my homework every day I won't hate my classes.
4 - If I go to my ALL my classes ALL semester I won't hate my classes.
5 - If I get to know my teachers and not be afraid to ask questions I won't hate my classes.
6 - If I plan my time wisely and stick to that plan I won't hate my classes.

Essencially I learned the keys to not hating my classes.

That was a very expensive lesson.

Pictures from my Choir Trip

This is The Gang. From right to left:
Dolly, Lady, Pepper (me), and Kitty. No these are not our real names. We have our own cute little club with cute names. It's funny how we got them. I'll have to tell you about it sometime.



This is in Spokan. Dolly's with me and that's another choir member Kelly. She's an awesome singer. She's nice too which is always a plus.

Some more choir people. The two boys on the end are Seth and Joey. Joey's the one I tried to hav a CTR (Choir Trip Romance) with but he's a slow mover.

Angel's the crazy looking one, Stephanie is next to Dolly, and Petite is another member of our gang.

So I know this looks like a gross picture. But it's a cool story that goes with it. You see while I was in Spokan we sang at a seminary early in the morning. On our way there we saw a "dead" porcupine and this was about six. Hours later we come back and he's still there. There was a crowd of people (like five) around him. My friends wanted to see and I said, "It's dead there's nothing to see." But they went over there anyway. And guess what, IT WASN'T DEAD!! So we stayed there in the middle of the road trying to keep any other cars from hitting it. Now, you would ask, "Who would hit a porcupine? I mean it's huge! Who could miss that?" Well you're right, they wouldn't miss it. There were two other pools of blood showing that it was indead hit more then once. This guy was pretty beat up. We called the police, fire department, vets were all closed, and animal control. Which, btw, is about two hours away! We were there for hours. We thought if it wasn't dead yet it would be. People would offer to have them kill it. Finally we thought maybe we should. But someone, who lives around there, said, "It's against the law." That put us in a tangent about cruelty to animals. We can't kill them because it's against humanity but don't offer any help to them either so they can die a slow and painful death. Yeah, real smart. Basically the only way this guy was going to get any help was if someone put him in their car and drove him to a vet. Only two of us were willing to do that, me and Kitty, but we didn't have a car.

So we waited some more. Finally someone came that knew a vet and the vet said they would get him. We also had someone go and get a couple of shovels. We put a towel over him so he wouldn't shoot quills at us (Yes they shoot quills) and moved him to the side of the road.

Later we found out that he wasn't dieing. He just had a really bad cut on his tail and was playing possum. HE LIVED!!! We were all very excited. When we went to the temple later that day, just after we left him for dead on the side of the road, we (that is Kitty and me) prayed for him. :) Yeah we are bleeding hearts and lame. But it was fun.

Once a missionary....

I've spent the last two hours talking to a couple of people I taught on my mission online. Some great people. One if a former member who was excommunicated and re-baptized. The other a convert hittig her first full year as a member.

It's interesting to see the friendships that were developed. I find myself still teaching them spiritual things even after five months of not teaching.

It's moments like that when I feel as if that mantel wasn't fully taken from me. Cause I find myself getting back into the swing of things like it's no problem.

I miss being a missionary. A lot. I miss teaching people and realizing that I'm wittnessing a miracle right in front me. Then I get online with someone I knew on my mission, someone I taught and I realize I can still have those moments. I can still see the miracle.

It's a sweet thing. To teach the gospel. I feel blessed that I got to do it so often. I hope I never lose sight of those feelings. I hope I get more chances to let them happen.

Blog Lifted

What kind of sports car are you?

I took this idea from another blogger. I don't know if she would want me to post her name so I'll just leave it at that. I thought it would be fun and at the end of it all they made it look pretty easy to post the results on here. I'm going to give it a try and see if it's stupid proof.

I'm a Chevrolet Corvette!

You're a classic - powerful, athletic, and competitive. You're all about winning the race and getting the job done. While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal. You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

Hey! It worked

Happy Easter and End of Tax Season

Easter morning was a special morning. My choir sang early (7:30 am) right outside the temple. The fountain was behind us, the rain was over us. Yes it did rain, but only for a few minutes and then with a prayer and faith we were able to continue our production. We sang music that was beautifully created to express what it was like to have the Savior here on this earth.

When "Pilot" started singing, letting the people know that he found no fault with the man Jesus Christ it accured to me for the first time that Jesus Christ really was a man with no fault. He did nothing to warrent so much hatered. I think it helps that I've been listening to the "Kingdom and the Crown" books. All about Jesus Christ. I was surprised to see how well done they were. But Gerald Lund has always been a very good auther.

That moment of realization was a special one for me. :) I love those moments. I remember being in the MTC and reading 3 Nephi 11 with the rest of my district. When we got to verse 10-11 that was another one of those moments when the Savior became more real to me at that moment, He became something more then just someone I grew up hearing about. Those are amazing moments.

The rest of the day was spent at the office. Teaching my grandparents how to efile (which is what I'm doing right now. It takes sometime to process so I had some time to write), and doing homework. I vowed I would never do homework on Sundays. It was a hard thing to realize that if I didn't, I would not be ready for my test on Tuesday. It was one of those ox in the mire type things. But I always as myself, "Was it really? Could I have prevented that?" I'll never know now. I'll just have to try harder to get my work done on time.

And so today is the end of tax season. It was a VERY busy day today.

Crap!

Have you ever put the dishes way forgetting you never started the dishwasher? By the time you remembered all the dishes were put away and you look in the cuboard to realize you can't tell which ones are clean and which are dirty?

Yeah, I just had one of those moment but with a bunch of files I wasn't finished with.

Dang it.

The Big Blue Yonder

The blue is soothing no?

Got Code?

Have you ever read Foxtrot? That comic strip with the genius kid with the equally genius best friend? His family is the "normal" American family and he's thrown in there to suck the nerdy kids into the comic. Every once in a while the dialouge looks something like this:

span style="font-size:85%;color:#000066;">

Some poeple read it and see the witty punch line at the end of the comic.

I read and say:

"What the crap are they talking about?"

My friend recently changed up her blog. It was way cute with sunflowers and mustard yellow background. I got all excited thinking blogger.com got all creative and put up new templates for the blogs. To my disappointment I did see some new templates but they were not anything like the cute sunflower one I saw. I didn't even see the sunflower one.

My friend, after making fun of me for changing my blog to Barbie pink, gave me the website for where she found her cute blog page. I'm thinking it would be easy to just go and get the page I want right?

WRONGO!

Next thing I see they are all talking about codes.

What?!?!

I know nothing about codes. It all looks like the math homework I should be doing right now. Not only that but my friend also puts up these cool quiz results from different quizes she takes and I when I take them I find out the results but when it gets time to grab the code I look at it all and think to myself:

"If I'm going to do math I'm going to do it for a grade." And I hit my math book. Hard. (I hate that book).

In other news take seasons almost over. WAHOOO! And I survived my crazy speech, two papers, and a test day last week. Now I've got a math test coming up on Tuesday. Yipeee!

R U LDS?

Someone asked me recently on my blogger if I was LDS.

There's only one person that I really know who reads this blog. Anyone else are just people who have passed by to take a peek. But I don't know any of them. Honestly I would not know anyone else was reading this if they had not left a comment on one of my entries.

I have no problem with other people reading this though I don't know why they would. My life is rather boring unless you are involved in it.

Any way, since there really is only one person that reads this blog I don't have to explain what LDS means, but after realizing there are a few people that do come along I'll explain a little about who I am religiously.

I'm sure it's been noticed that I mention a lot about, "On my mission," or ,"Before my mission," or "Since I've been home from my mission." I mention people by Sister a lot too. I recently spent 18 months in California serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Or LDS. I've been home for five months now almost six, and even though it was almost half a year since I've been a missionary, it still is a major part of my life. I still have memories and friendships from that experience in my lfe. The one person that reads this on a regular basis that I've mentioned is one such friend who I met while in California. It was she who introduced me to blogger.com and I decided to create this as a way to keep in touch with her.

I have no problem with letting people know my religious affilication. I've been doing that my whole life and refined that art during my stay in California. Any mention of my religion is not to brag or force my views on others. It's a part of who I am. I am a Christian. I believe in Christ and the Atonement and the Ressurection. I believe in a God who love me as a Father and therefore I call him Heavenly Father and I am his daughter. I believe we are all his children no matter what our religious affiliations are. You may be Buddist or Catholic, Muslim or Jew. That is what I believe.

I talk about my religion a lot because it is my life. You talk about the thing you do the most. I've noticed that with people in general. If you have kids you talk about your kids a lot. If you are married you talk about your spouse. If you are single you talk about dating. If you are in a religion that you are involved with not just on Sundays, which I am, then that's what you talk about. That is what I talk about.

So thank you, whoever you were, for noticing that I am LDS. Your question made me realize that since my blog is publicly viewed that maybe I should explain some things. I love answering questions about my religion but that's not the main purpose of my blog. I have a friend who I care about that reads this and I keep her posted on my life. But as long as you respect me and the things I say I have no problem with others reading or commenting on my blog. Feel free. I see no harm.

Bride and Prejudice

For the last few months I've been trying to build relationships with people in my ward. I want to have friends. It's only natural. There is a group of girls that are very appealing to me. They're funny, intelligent, gainfully employed which means they are capable and reliable. They all have callings in our ward and they all do very well at them. Some of them are older, close to 30. Some are close to my age. One of the girls sees everyone as her friend. I can see her quickly becoming a very good friend. Every time there is a social activity she calls me and invites me to go. I've had to say no to every activity but two. The first one was months ago when I first came to this ward. The second was last night.

I had a wonderful time. We had dinner and watched a movie/musical called, "Bride and Prejudice." It's pretty much like the original except there's a) singing and dancing, b)Darsy is an American, c) Elizebeth is Lilita from India. The setting primarily takes place in India. Yep, totally twisted. And it's more modern. I'm not sure I liked the modern flare. What I found funny and pointed out last night was there were at least five or six swear words and no kissing. Not a single kiss throughtout the whole movie. The character playing Miss. Bingly (who, btw, is Indian herself, born but not raised) said to Darsy, "They are like naked wire. Get too close and you'll get a shock of love." Speaking of the native Indian girls. I personally found that rather random.

And so the night continued in much of that fashion. We enjoyed dancing while we sat on the couch trying to mimic the dancers on the movie (they shake their shoulders in a cool fashion) and making fun of it on the way. There was a point when Darsy and Lilita were having a roomantic walk along the beach (in California) and there was a gospel choir singing. They were standing on risers no less. It was a great movie.

So that was how I got to spend my evening. During that time we started making plans to have a trip to California. Am I excited or what? We are planning on bringing lots of people, so, as to not impose on certain charitable and wonderful people who would be more then willing to let us stay with them, we will be getting a condo of the week. But have no fear, I will be coming to visit. We are looking at the beginning of August.

Like I said, I had a great time. It was nice hanging out with a group of girls just chatting about life. There was no need to bring up my less than favorable dating experiences or past issues of misdeeds done to one another becaues they don't know I'm having dating issues (these aren't the type of girls you talk about dating issues with anyway) and we don't have any past misdeeds to try and skirt around. It was just plan normal fun.

Haven't had that in a while. It was great!

iPod Nano Update

So you'd think they would put in the manual how to turn on the stupid thing. I had to go on the support website to discover that, "Oh by the way, to turn on the stupid thing you have to hold the select and menu botton and the same time for 6-10 seconds."

Who would have thought?

But at least now I can listen to my music. And I have the color screen I was hoping for but thought I got cheated out of.

Yay for me!

iPod Nano

iPods started to become pretty popular around here just before my mission. A form relief society president of mine had one and when she told me what it was I responded something like this:

Me: 0_O *blinkblink*

Yeah it meant nothing to me.

So I didn't think much of it until I came back from my mission. All of a sudden I'm getting online and I see these little ad's popping up all over the place. A black shadow of a person jamming to some tunes from a a little white box and little white headphones, with eye catching color changing background to boot. I recognize the little white box as an iPod but that's it. I had no idea that this little ad used to be one of the biggest commercials during my stint from the real world. I discover this as I'm taking a communications class during the time we are discussing the medias influence on world communication.

And the iPods which only belonged to one person I knew is now adorning the ears of basically my whole campus at college. They are everywhere!

A couple days ago one of my friends has one and she lets me borrow it. It's the newer smaller not quite as expensive ones. Without the neat little screen. I think to myself, this is pretty cool.

So I'm telling my mom I'm looking to buy one and the next thing I know we both have one. I've spent some of my day today downloading songs from my cds to the cute little nano.

And wouldn't you know....

...it's not working.

My Mission Reunion

Updates have been scarce because of homework. I've been having the most horrible time trying to catch up on all of the work I've been neglecting. I always seem to find something else to do that seems, "More important," because it will, "Help me get my homework done." Of course while I am doing the, "More important," things my homework sits on my floor or in my computer (online homework) and the due date draws ever closer. And I think, "That's ok, I'll have lots of time."

World meet the queen of procrastination. UGH!!!

My mission reunion was last Friday. I was NERVOUS like you couldn't believe. I left Thursday afternoon but first woke up at 6:30am for a 7:00am hair appointment. I got my hair colored and cut in the latest fashion. Long with layers. I just wanted something that would look cute straight or curly. Then I went to Razzle Dazzle the cosmitology school that's five minutes from where I live and had my nails done. I wanted a french manicure that would make me look smart and flirty. She did a horrible job (she is a student but still it was a horrible job). I decided to be like a magician and move my hands enough where people will see my nails but not long enough to notice how horrible they looked. Slight of hand learned from my older brother in his magincian years, I was his assistant.

I have lunch with a guy that I've been casually dating. I date other people too but he's been the most persistant. Things have developed with him in an unusual way and it makes me very nervous when he starts asking me questions like, "So are you going to miss me?" I of course just make jokes and pretend he's not being as serious as he looks. I'm not ready for a relationship and most especially not ready for a relationship with someone that has all his issues. On my way home last night he kept texting me asking where I was. I knew he would be wanting to see me as soon as possible. He kept calling me while I was gone too. Sigh.

Then I head for Utah. I'm staying with my best friend from high school. We had a falling out shortly after high school and spent the last five years slowly mending that relationship. We realized we love each other too much to throw away something that saved us in high school. We had a blast. We watched the first session of Gilmore Girls that she had on DVD. Her husband was going out of town for a school camping trip he would be getting graded on. Spent Friday morning with him, traveling around finding the best deal on camping gear and getting to know each other while Lyssa went to a sealing for one of her friends. He asked all kinds of questions about what Lyssa and I were like in high school and I think he wanted to know what exactly happened to us after high school. I wouldn't tell him just that we had a falling out. But he is a very innocent kind of guy and personalable. Very nice. I like him.

Their son Cameron is adorable and I spent a lot of time with him this weekend too.

Then the mission reunion came. It was pretty much what I expected it to be. Lots of people I knew, but most of them ignored me. Those that didn't know me came and talked to me. I found out who where my true friends from all of this. Elder Petty came up and gave me the biggest hug. Elder Vernon, Brooksby, the office sisters, and even Hatch gave me a hug. Sister Schmidt was there too. It was good all around. Sister Bradford was there. That was my saving grace and I for her. She came with another elder RM and everyone thought they were boyfriend/girlfriend. But thruth was, they knew each other pretty well before the mission. There were very few people who actually knew Susan from the mission for obvious reasons. So we hung out. She looks great. She's lost tons of weight and is pretty much her wonderful self. I went over to her place after the reunion and we chatted. I caught her up to dateing on my dating life and she reminded me to not settle. It was a good weekend in the way of figuring out that what I have so far is not what I want.

We had a devotional at the reunion. It was exactly what I needed. I'm still trying to recover from some of the bad things that happened on my mission. Trying to figure out how to not feel so crappy about how I was treated by some of the missionaries and to basically let things go. I didn't write down any notes and I wish I had because it would have helped me remember. I don't know what exactly was said, but it was exactly what I needed. I started to realize that what I get out of my mission is what I choose to get out of it. And that I can think about my mission and the missionaries in it without this turning queeziness.

The love that I felt from President and Sister C helped a lot. I didn't think it would matter one way or another if I showed up. But President gave me the biggest hug and looked straight into my eyes and he knew. He looked right through me and he knew how hard it was for me. He didn't know exactly why but he knew that I was struggling. That meant a lot to me, just knowing that he cared. I love that man. I love Sister C. They will always mean so much to me.

The rest of the weekend was wonderful of course. With conference and hanging out with Susan on Saturday. Sunday I left and now I'm back to normal life. It was a good weekend. Thought provoking and enlightening. I have some choices to make. But it will all work out.