Mom but not the mom....

Role conflict is defined as the a role of one area of life crossing over and conflicting with a role in another part of life.

The example often used are the old flight attendence that had to act flirty and seductive without being available who are also mom's and wives back home. Your desire to be true to who you are at home conflicts with the role flight attendies had to take on.

So what do you call a role that is a conflict in and of itself?

Like being the stepmom. When you think stepmom initially all that comes to mind is a woman that is married to a man that has a son that's not your own. Most people draw the line there not thinking much farther of the complexities of the role.

Wow have I had an eye opener. Being a stepmom is so much more than just being some woman that's marrying a guy with kids. It's being the mom but not the mom.

What?

How do you define that to someone? How do you define that to yourself?

And I've found no books on the subject. Not any real useful ones. My local Deseret Bookstore has nothing on the subject anyway. My search has really ended there. Mainly because I don't want to get a non-LDS view point unless recommended by someone. The last thing I need is a book filling my head with stuff that doesn't apply to my situation.

There are so many conflicts with this role I've taken on. How do you disipline? How do you combine your role with your husbands role and the full on father? That sounds silly but trust me if you guys don't have it together it can create some serious issues. Nothing major has come up yet but I'm just waiting for the bottom to drop out.

But there are some perks. Last night I stayed at my parents to satisfy a silly obsession of mine (Heroes) while Flash took Mini Flash home. About an hour later when Flash and I got home I get a phone call from Mini Flash. He just wanted to talk and say goodnight to me. His mom told me he couldn't figure out why I wasn't there and was very upset that he couldn't give me a goodnight hug. So he asked his mom to call me so he could do it over the phone.

Man...melt my heart why dontcha!