Kissed by the Devil

So it's official. I have a boyfriend. It's nice having a boyfriend and knowing it. The last time I had a boyfriend I was pretty much the last to find out.

He's a good one too. Tall, handsome, kind, easy going, funny, and well if you remember this blog entry then you'll know who it is. Yes folks it's finally happened! The uncatchable has finally decided to make the next step of dating exclusively. And she found a man worthy of her attentions which is a miracle in and of itself.

Neither one of us is familiar with the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. And apparently I come with a different manual then most girls as he puts it so the next chapter in my life is going to be interesting.

And for the time being since he's an electrician he will be known as Flash.

Flash isn't your normal guy.

He likes to make things unique, interesting...different.

So, of course, our first kiss didn't happen in the normal fashion.

You have to understand it's been driving me crazy he hasn't kissed me yet. He knew this and was holding out as long as he could. He told me he wasn't going to kiss me until he knew whether or not he wanted to be in a relationship with me.

Fine I can handle that. *twitch O_0 twitch*

So last night we were cuddling on the couch discussing our relationship. I made it perfectly clear what I wanted but this kid...getting any information out of him is like pulling teeth.

At this point we hadn't made any clear decision about being boyfriend/girlfriend. For my own personal satisfaction I needed to make sure it was clear what we were. I was not going to get myself in another situation where the guy was taking advantage of me. Last night was supposed to be the final talk. Either we are or we aren't and I move on.

So he finally tells me some concerns he has (which we won't go into) and I have him in a serious mood (which doesn't happen often, if ever). Little did I know at that very moment he decided to pull the biggest prank I think anyone has ever pulled on me.

Let me make this clear. I am very gullible so I don't believe anything anyone says. It's not often when someone pulls the wool over my eyes. I've trained myself to see through lies and half truths. Furthermore the type of person who likes to pull pranks. Ask my roommates, friends, and family they will tell you if a joke is being played I'm likely involved. There are several people who will tell you I got them. There have only been a hand-full of people who can truly say they got me.

But never like this.

So he's telling me his concerns and he slips in his final problem. He can't handle kissing lip to lip.

That totally took me off guard and at first I didn't believe him. I myself am not a huge fan of kissing but...seriously? Not like kissing to the point of being grossed out by it?

Seriously?

But he kept going with it. His face was so unquestioningly serious, even his eyes didn't have that usual glimmer of "I'm pulling a fast one on you" and I believed him.

Get what I'm saying people! I BELIEVED him with out a doubt. This is not something I do lightly. This is NOT something I EVER do.

I'm next to him and he's asking me, "Can you handle that? I'm serious I need you to promise me you'll never try to kiss me."

He started spouting off lines like, "You're going to leave me aren't you?" and "You have to promise not to say anything to anyone about this!"

Picture this. My hand on my head looking at the ceiling, breathing slow to keep my cool and I say, "I don't think I can handle this. That is just sooo weird. What guy doesn't like to kiss?"

When I asked that question he looked away from me AND SHUDDERED! Oh he was convincing that conniving little....grrrr. I'm still there, hand on top of my head as if it's going to some how contain the knowledge I needed to warp my mind around this new bit of information. I was trying to think of any example...any thing that could help me understand him and his request. The only image flashing through my mind was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

Not a good example Emily!

I ask him, "But then...what do we do?"

He leaned over and gently kissed my ear lobe and said, "That and other things."

After this I was silent for a long time. And thought well if Julia can do it so can I.

Finally I said, "You really never want me to kiss you?" He confirmed his horrible little lie and I said, "Ok I won't kiss you."

"Pinkie swear?" He asks extending the smallest of his fingers of his left hand towards me.

"Pinkie swear..." and I wrap my little finger around his, sealing my fate and wondering what the heck I was getting myself into.

Thus I did what I always do when I find out something weird and am forced to put up with it.

I make fun of it.

He then proceeds to tell me I can't make fun of him for it! He was embarrassed by it! That should have tipped me off right there for this kid is embarrassed by nothing!

Oh he's evil he is.

He puts his face down in my shoulder as if I was hurting him as he pleads with me not to make fun of him. To not tease him. He was worried my teasing would make me slip up in public. He begged me to understand.

Note: when he looks away and hides his face he was smiling and laughing. It took everything he had to keep a straight face through all of this. But to me these were all signs of someone who was trying to share his feelings about something he was embarrassed about.

Not only is he asking me not to kiss him...EVER! But he is asking me not to tease him....EVER!

And thus I make yet another pinkie-pack with the devil.

After all this I was still trying to wrap my head around it. We were looking into each others eyes and he said, "You want to kiss me don't you? You really can't handle this."

I could do nothing but sigh and say, "I don't know...I've never done it before. But I'll try...I will...I'll try."

Then he started playing the, I feel bad card! Oh he's horrible!

He said, "Don't look at me like that. You look so disappointed. I can't stand it!"

He runs a finger along my cheek, my chin, over my lips. "How can I make you understand?"

I said, "I want to understand." So he had me close my eyes and he's asking me to understand what he went through. Later I find out he was just dying of laughter and he couldn't handle it any more...that's why he had me close my eyes. He needed to give his straight face a rest.

He even brought up his ex-wife...that she was the reason he couldn't kiss any more.

Evil I tell you...pure evil.

Finally I just start babbling. He puts a figure to my lips and tell me to stop talking.

I couldn't of course and the next thing I know he plants a big ol' kiss on me! When he's done he starts laughing and says, "I just couldn't take it anymore! I couldn't keep it up!"

I.

Was.

TICKED!!!

I threw him off the couch and started beating him with a pillow. As I'm doing this he grabs me and kisses me some more. I let him of course mainly because I was so relieved. But I pulled away and smash the pillow in his face and moved back to the couch.

Emotions of relief, embarrassment, and just plan being ticked-off where running through my veins. But there was one overriding emotion that trumped them all.

I was impressed. Purely and completely impressed.

Never before had I been played so well.

Never before had a prank gone on for so long that I didn't see through it.

Yes...yes I believe he is worth keeping around.

Even if he is the devil.